He Doesn't Waiver, Even When We Do

Desert Song by Hillsong

This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow


"Believe God is always the God you know Him to be when you are nearest to Him."
-Oswald Chambers

Happy Monday!

I'm Not the Realtor of the Family, but...

I think I could do a better job of advertising than this...

Clearly they only want hawk-eyed people renting their house.

Birthday Blog

So tomorrow marks 1/4 century in the life of Cristin.  Kinda crazy.  25 sounds very adult.  Not having a job doesn't - but we won't go into that now.  I was thinking about past birthday celebrations, because I was going to try to list as many as I could, but it turns out I can't remember a lot of them (Carlyn, no comments about my 18th.  I remember).  

One of my favorites was in elementary school, maybe 2nd grade, with my grandmother, Erma.  You see, every year, Erma would plan an outing for each of the grandchildren on their birthday (Williamsburg, Jamestown, The Mariner's Museum, etc).  It was cool as a kid, but I appreciate it much more now.  This one particular birthday, she took me to the Ft. Monroe Officer's Club for lunch.  I don't remember much about lunch, but Erma said that they had nothing on the menu I would eat, so the chef made me a hamburger and fries and they brought ketchup out in a silver goblet.  All I remember is this delicious chocolate raspberry cake they brought out for me.  Amazing.  I know I have a picture this event somewhere, but I can't find it. 

I've had 2 surprise parties that I can remember.  One was when I was like 8 or 9, I guess.  My mom and dad planned a surprise party for me after my swim lessons.  They didn't know who to invite, I guess, so they just invited my whole class and a few more people.  As a result the only thing I remember about that birthday was that I came straight from the pool to my house for the party and there were a lot of kids I didn't like there.

The second surprise party was when I was 22.  Byron and Erica took me out to dinner and then when I got back to the apartment, there was a party.  DiAnna followed me around with the video camera, which I didn't like.  Side note:  Byron isn't a very good sneaky surpriser. :)

Coincidentally that year, my actual birthday fell on the SuperBowl, so about 30 people sang Happy Birthday to me at the party.  If you know me, you know how much I enjoyed all that attention. :)

I spent 2 birthdays overseas - one in China (23) and one in Thailand (24).  They were both really fun and memorable.  On my 23rd, I had a 2 cakes, plus an awesome french toast breakfast.  We listened to the SuperBowl that morning (12 hrs ahead) and went to a really good restaurant for dinner.  Then we had coffee at this revolving restaurant where we could see the whole city.  Pretty sweet.

In Thailand, my awesome sistah, Mariah, provided a crown, sash, and scepter for me to wear to all of our meetings.  Then we got to go to Starbucks that night to celebrate.  They lit a stirrer in a muffin for my cake and candle.  Nice.

We'll see what this year brings.  :)

25 Things

Ok, so Carlyn did this, so I figured I would, too...

This '25 Things' Note is going around Facebook, so I decided to put it on here too.

I used (my sister) Carlyn’s ’25 Things’ as a template, so some of mine are responses to hers. 

1. I love naps.

2.I am left-handed when it comes to writing, eating, and dexterity, but right-handed throwing, hitting, shooting basketball, kicking, and other things more strength oriented.

3. I am a nerd when it comes to sports medicine…Actually, I’m just a nerd, in general, but I’m ok with that.

4 I’m in training to be a music elitist.

5. I really like getting dressed up, but won’t do it unless I have a reason or someone else is doing it with me.

6. I spent almost 2 years in China.  Yes, I can speak Chinese and use chopsticks.

7. I love real flowers.  I don’t care if they die in a week. 

8. Habakkuk is a good book.  You should read it.

9. I have been to England, Ireland, France, Russia, Italy, Finland, Estonia, Sweden, Denmark, Brazil, Thailand and China and still have not been to Disney World (or Disneyland).

10. After about a month in China, I realized I wasn’t as tough as I thought I was.  I like showers and heat…but I would do it again if God called me to.

11. For 2 years many words were taken out of my vocabulary, especially over the phone.  I still occasionally have panic attacks when I hear them or say them.

12. I love baseball.  I always have and always will.  Wilkey (my grandfather) taught me to love it.

13. I love college football, and bleed garnet.  The phrase ‘wait til next season’ comes out without even thinking about it.

14. I worked as a student athletic trainer for USC football, track and field, and swimming and diving.

15. I would like to work as an athletic trainer anywhere, now.  I need a job.

17. I honestly believe God laughs at my life.  And I’m ok with that because He’s God.  He made me and He invented laughter.

18. If I had a house and the money, I would have a batting cage in my basement or backyard.

19. God speaks to me most when I’m writing.

20. I can speak Carlyn’s movie quote language.  Kyle is a close second to Carlyn in being able to speak in quotes, but wins by a landslide if you change it to sports metaphors or clichés. 

21. I am Southern.  Please do not argue with me.

22. From the time I was about 7 until I was 13 or so, I wanted to play baseball for Florida State on my way to playing in the majors.  And I actually thought I could.

23. I love ultimate Frisbee and flag football.

24. Music and sports are always better live.  Always.

25. Colossians 3.17.

Relationships

Ok, so I said I would start putting old posts over here so here's my first one.  It's from May 14, 2008.  And now that people can comment, hopefully it will be more interesting.

So what have I learned in the past year?  Lots.  But I think the biggest thing I’ve learned about, besides myself, is relationships.  After some encouragement from a friend, I decided to share some of what I’ve been learning.  So here’s a little excerpt from my journal.  Make no mistake, I’m not “there” yet, but hopefully I’m at least taking steps in the right direction.  Alright, here we go...

 

4/8/08  Talking…the other night was really good.  It really helped me to verbalize some things and say some stuff outloud.  It was interesting to hear myself speak truth about my (and all) relationships and also hear how my habits/thoughts/behaviors combat those truths.  Relationships are huge.  They are a gift from You, not just so we have something to do while we hang out here, but so we can get a taste of real, true relationship – relationship with You.  Yes, our earthly relationships are all damaged and broken, but until we come home to be with You, it’s what we’ve got.  Besides, the reason they’re broken is because we’re broken.  We need to remember that.  They are still a gift from You, though.  So when we take them for granted or abuse them, we are abusing and damaging Your gift.  When we shut ourselves off and refuse to be in relationship, we are telling You that we don’t want to know relationship, any relationship – including relationship with You.  

 

The thing is, though, relationships are hard.  They require us to humble ourselves, give up control, and give of ourselves.  We must be humble enough to say we need people, that we can’t do it on our own.  We need people – people placed in our lives by You – to help us.  

 

We have to give up control of our lives and what/who affects our lives.  The funny thing is, we never really have control of this – we just convince ourselves that we do.  We were made to be moved – moved by love, by pain, by beauty, by sorrow.  We are creatures of emotion.  You made us this way.  This emotion is what allows us to really know You, know Your character, hear You.  But this same ability, this capacity for emotion is what leaves us feeling sad or hurt at times.  Instead of embracing this emotion, allowing it to draw us closer to You, and glorifying You in it, we try to turn it off.  And though we are (and will always be) unsuccessful, we still try to convince ourselves we can control it.  So we run away, we build walls, we fight, we put up pretty facades over empty shells.  And in the end, we still feel emotions, we still hurt, and we probably miss the lessons and the joys that You want to give us.  See, that’s the thing – it’s the sad that allows us to know happy, the pain that allows us to know comfort, the turmoil that allows us to know peace, the valley that shows the height of the mountaintop.  And You are in all of these places – all the time.  We just have to look for You.  

 

We think we’re in control and protecting ourselves when we build walls or run away, but all we’re doing is shutting You out or running from You.  You tell us that Your yoke is easy and Your burden is light, but we refuse to exchange ours for Yours.  We refuse to cast our anxieties on You.  We kick and scream and try to push You away and keep You from walking with us.  Why?  Because we don’t believe You know what’s best.  We think we know ourselves better than you know us and we care more about ourselves than You do.  But that’s just not true.  You created us.  You knew us and placed us in our mother’s womb.  You know more about us than we ever will.  And You care more about us than we can even comprehend.  Your love knows no bounds and we can’t even come close to knowing what that means.  You died for us.  You sought after us.  You found us.  You rescued us.  So we need to throw off these lies we’ve been told and willingly give You the control.  

 

Finally, we must give of ourselves.  If we really want to have relationship, we have to open up.  We have to let people in.  We have to talk to them and trust them with knowledge about ourselves.  We have to choose to tell them things – about our past, our emotions, our feelings, our lives.  And the scary part is, we have no control over what they do with that information.  We don’t know what they’re going to do with it once we give it to them.  They could tell others; they could reject us, make fun of us, condemn us.  They could hurt us.  And chances are, all of these things (and more) have happened to us in the past, so now we’re weary.  We’re cautious.  We’re “smart.”  Only, we’re also miserable.  In being “smart” we ruin any chance of community, any chance of relationship.  For it is in giving that we receive.  We must give of ourselves if we want to know true relationship.  It is a 2-way street; a give and take.  Sure, you can just take and not give.  You can just listen to what other people say and learn about them, but that’s not true relationship.  So we have a choice to make.  We can choose to have relationships or not.  We can accept Your gift or not.  We can grow deeper in our knowledge of You and your love or not.  It’s our choice.  You gave us that gift, too.  We must decide.

 

4//9/08  I’m glad that You don’t view relationships like I do.  I’m glad You don’t give up on any of us.  I’m so thankful You continued to pursue me even when I turned my back on You.  You never gave up.  You never give up.

Big Day

So I officially became a SC resident today.  Got the license to prove it.  Thanks to Katie and her suggestion to go to the Irmo DMV, it only took about 10 minutes to do it.  Completely amazing.

Other things I crossed off my list today:

• Ordered bridesmaid dress for Carlyn's wedding
• Dropped off another application/resume
• Officially accepted one job
• Made an appointment to discuss other job possiblities
• Went grocery shopping
• Baked cookies
• Made dinner
• Started working on a rehab program for a friend

After all of that productiveness, I ended the night with old BCM friends and way too many cookies.  Good times.