God Had Something Else In Mind

I’m turning 27 later this week (which, by the way, is really weird to write because 27 is definitely “adult” and I’m not sure I’m a real adult – another thought for another day). I’ve been doing quite a bit of examining and thinking about my life lately. I’ve been trying to define my purpose, not just in life in general, but specifically in this stage, and asking God how that plays out in my career, relationships, and even geographic location.

As I’ve been kind of examining what my life looks like now, it made me think back to what I imagined it would look like years ago, when I thought about the future. If you had asked me 10 years ago what my life would look like in 10 years, I would not have described my current life. If you had asked me 5 years ago what my life would look like in 5 years, I would not have described my current life. I’m not sure if, 10 years ago, I would have even gotten close. I would have done a little better 5 years ago, but not much.

And here’s the thing – I could look at this as failure. I mean, there are so many goals I had as a 17 year old and as a 22 year old that I didn’t meet, and some of them I will never meet. Honestly, there are people who were a part of my life at 17 and 22 who do view those unmet goals as failure. And that they see failure in my life can really start to bother me if I let it because I care way too much about what people think of me.

But here’s the truth – God had something else in mind.

I heard Matt Williams speak those words a few weeks ago when he was speaking to Grace Church – Downtown. He was sharing about the journey that led to starting Grace, expanding campuses, and eventually starting the Downtown campus. He shared how the original vision for Grace Church was actually Downtown Greenville, but that God opened doors in other locations around Greenville first. God had something else in mind. I’m so thankful He did because I love what Grace Church is now and where we’re headed, and I know that the journey had much to do with that.

My life is a lot like Grace Church. I feel like God began giving me a vision for my life years ago, but then the doors He opened, and especially the doors He shut, did not always seem to correspond to that vision…at least not in the moment. A lot of the time, it felt as if I was actually moving away from the vision God gave me.

For example, one thing God showed me in college was how He has gifted me and given me a passion for discipleship. Then, He sent me to China. The first few months there, I spent a lot of time feeling like an evangelistic failure (especially compared to the gifted evangelists on my team). But what God was doing was elevating my view of the Gospel and its power, and teaching me how to communicate it effectively, both of which are integral parts of discipleship. After being in China for about a year, He opened the door for me to enter into some very rich discipleship relationships. God had something else in mind.

Since about my freshman year of college, God has been teaching me about Biblical womanhood and the high calling of being a wife and mother, something that, as I’ve shared before, was a major change in perspective for me. So, naturally, I assumed these lessons were preparing me to be married…which I am not. Over the past several years, this has frustrated me because I didn’t know why God would change my heart to desire to be a wife and mother if I wasn’t going to be married anytime soon. I thought it would have been much easier to keep my career-oriented perspective. What I am learning now (in large part thanks to the Ezer teaching at Grace Church) is that what God was really revealing in my heart was a desire to be an essential counterpart; to invite, nurture, and partner. One day, that may be in the context of marriage and family, but He desires for me to live out that calling in my current stage of life and in the relationships I have now. God had something else in mind.

So where will I be 5 years from now? Ten years? I have no idea. But that doesn’t mean I am without vision for my life. I believe that God has given me a purpose and a calling. That purpose and calling will look different as I enter into different stages in life and play different roles, but that doesn’t mean it will change. I’m still working on the wording of my purpose/vision, but I believe I have essentially been called to facilitate life-change through the Gospel and equip others to do the same.

So there you go. I haven’t heard of too many people who call “27” a milestone birthday, or even an important one. But I think it is for me. I’m looking forward to another year of unexpected challenges and blessings as I grow with my Father.

Finding your Strengths

One of the links from my last blog, which was part of Dave Ramsey's January newsletter was about finding your strengths. Dave shares some insight from Marcus Buckingham that I found really useful in the current "What am I going to be when I grow up?" phase I'm in right now.

What's also interesting (and encouraging) to me about this post is that my dad sent it to me about a week before I read it on the website. After I had talked to him some about things going on in my life and the direction I felt I was heading, he read the Ramsey/Buckingham post and sent it to me. It's encouraging to me because it shows me that he's really interested in what's going on in my life and that he's supportive of the steps I'm taking. So thanks, Dad, for sharing and encouraging. And thanks to Dave Ramsey and Marcus Buckingham for the wisdom.

How to Find Your Strengths

Just because you're good at something doesn't make it a strength

from daveramsey.com on 06 Aug 2009

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According to Marcus Buckingham, author of Go Put Your Strengths To Work, "Most people think your strengths are what you're good at, and your weaknesses are what you're bad at." He explains that this isn't a good way to measure your strengths and skills.

There may be a lot of things that you're good at, but hate doing. Just because you're good at something doesn't make it a strength. You also must have a passion for what you're doing—that's what qualifies it as a strength.

"A better definition of a strength," said Buckingham, "is an activity that makes you feel strong. And a weakness is an activity that makes you feel weak. Even if you're good at it, if it drains you, that's a weakness."

He recommends writing down activities that drain you or energize you during a regular week. This will prohibit others from confirming or denying your strengths and weaknesses. Instead, you're determining what they are without letting other people's opinions influence you.

Once you have determined your strengths, you need to refine and sharpen your skills. "You grow the most, learn the most, develop the most in the areas where you already have some natural advantage," said Buckingham.

According to Buckingham, there are four clear signs of a strength:

1. Success—This is effectiveness in the activity you are doing.
2. Instincts—Find those things that you instinctively look forward to, and capitalize on them.
3. Growth—You're growing when you can concentrate on an activity, and time just flies by.
4. Needs—Some activities might make you tired, but they fulfill you.

Now that you know your strengths, it's time to put them into action. From your list that you kept throughout the week, write down three strength statements. Buckingham said the statements should be "specific enough to conjure up passion within you, but general enough for you to apply every week." He says you can't build a career around your best unless you know your strengths. "It's one of the skills of life."

From Dave Ramsey's website http://www.daveramsey.com/article/how-to-find-your-strengths/

Some Goals from Dave Ramsey

This is from Dave Ramsey's January newsletter (read the whole thing here). A little more inspiration to set some goals this year. It's not too late. :)

11 Weird Things To Do In 2011 Everyone has their own definition of what "weird" means. To us, it means having some—or actually a lot—of money, because so many people are broke! If you could keep hundreds of extra dollars a month instead of paying credit card bills, car payments and your alma mater, would you want to become weird? If you're tired of being normal (aka broke) like everyone else, here are some ways to get started on your journey to weirdness! 1. Set a solid foundation. Without a proper start, big plans will eventually crumble. We are here to help you along the way during this weird year that will carry through the rest of your life. Find out how to set a solid foundation. 2. Bring out your inner bookworm! According to The Literacy Company, 90% of learning is based on reading. You would think that Americans would read a lot, right? Well, about 27% of adults read no books at all in the past year. Set yourself apart from the majority by reading a few beneficial, nonfiction books this year! Here are somesuggestions from Dave's library. 3. Take baby steps with meal planning. Food often costs more than you think. Plan your meals ahead of time to eat healthier and avoid hitting up your favorite fast-food spot five times a week. It's not a daunting task when you get help from eMealz for just $5 a month! 4. Compare yourself to the Joneses—really! The Joneses are broke. They're in debt and don't have money for emergencies, retirement or college. Do you really want to be like them? Doubtful. So compare yourself to them and determine what you need to do so you aren't like the Joneses. 5. Practice saying no! There are so many good things to do, but you can't do it all. Learning to set limits in your life will actually allow you to do more, whether it's with your time or money. Plus, you'll be better at those things you do since you aren't rushing around trying to cram a bunch of stuff into your schedule. 6. Surprise! Who says giving to others only has to take place at Christmas? Challenge yourself to continue giving like no one else throughout 2011. You'll be amazed at how much better life is when you give to others! 7. Dream. Just because you're a responsible adult who's all grown up doesn't mean you have to stop dreaming. But don't just be a dreamer; do something about it! Determine what's stopping you from making your goal a reality, and challenge yourself to overcome it. 8. Sacrifice. Most people cringe at the "s" word. But sacrifice doesn't mean you have to live in a cave and never have fun. Maybe you need to pick up an extra job or cut out a monthly treat from your budget to get closer to achieving your goal. Think of something you can give up, and commit to following through this year. 9. Get a will for real. About 60% of Americans die without a will. So what's the big deal? That means that when you die, everything you owned is either left to the government to divvy out, or your relatives will fight over your belongings. Avoid that heartache by creating a will. Stop procrastinating and just do it!USLegalForms.com makes it easy for you to leave this legacy for under $30. 10. Quit your J-O-B. Don't love your job? Then quit it! Find your passion and do work that truly matters to you. Yes, even in this economy you can quit your job—just be smart about it. Think it through. Have a plan, and be wise about your decisions. Consider this. 11. Pass on the weirdness! It's cool to be weird! Tell others about your journey to weirdness and how you're changing your life for the best. Send them our weekly email challenges, pass along your budgeting knowledge, or invite them to a free Financial Peace University class. Dave has so many resources available for you and your friends that there's definitely something for everyone. How are you going to change your life in 2011? Let us know by leaving a comment here. Taken from: DAVE'S eNEWSLETTER January 2010 | DAVERAMSEY.COM

Goals 2011

I talked some yesterday about how my thought process has changed over the last several years regarding goals. I’m reading and working through the book, 48 Days to the Work You Love (Dan Miller). He makes several good points about goals.

• - “…expectations of your future do, in fact, tend to create your future.”
• - “People often end up where they expect to end up.”
• - “…specific, worthwhile expectations…make your life more meaningful.”
• - “Start doing something that you’ve put off because of the risk of failure.”
• - “It is critical to define your own priorities. If you simply respond to circumstances, any obstacle will send you in a new direction.”

Miller also talks about making deposits in all areas of life – spiritual, personal development, physical, family, social, financial, and career. So here are some of the goals I have set for this year.

• - Have one full Sabbath day a month.
• - Read 25 books, at least 5 of them being biographies.
• - Finish writing a Bible study I started last year.
• - Participate in an athletic competition – I’m thinking the Mud Run, but we’ll see. (It won’t be another half marathon. Hasn’t been long enough since the last one to forget the pain and horror.)
• - Take at least 2 trips to VA to visit family.
• - Make time for coffee/dinner/something with one friend a week.
• - Save a certain amount of money and get more involved in my investments. (At least get my long-term emergency fund complete.)
• - Explore career opportunities that incorporate my skills/abilities, personality traits, and dreams/aspirations.

So there you go. I have a few more that I am still developing, but that’s what I’ve got for now. What about you? What are your goals for 2011?

New Year, New Goals

I don’t know if I have really set goals for my life in about 4 years. For those of you who know me, you may find that hard to believe or even think I’m lying.

When I was younger, I was an extremely driven, goal-oriented child. My mom has some pretty funny stories about my goals and determination. I think one of her favorites is from when I was in 3^rd grade. We had a project that we were given several weeks to do. My teacher told us that if we would just work 15 minutes or so everyday, we’d have no problem finishing it. Of course I wanted to do well on this project, so starting that day I would come home from school everyday and set our kitchen timer for 15 minutes and that’s how long I would work. I finished the project with no problems.

My determination to meet my goals has also been difficult at times, though. My goal in school was always to make straight A’s. I got a B once in 4^th grade and almost had a nervous breakdown. I felt the same crushing blow when I did not get into my first choice college.

These goals, whether met or not, typically provided good learning experiences for me. And looking back, the goals I was not able to meet probably taught me more than the ones I did.

So why has it been so long since I set goals?

In college, God did a huge work in my life and changed my life and priorities quite a bit. A large part of that was asking me to give up my selfish goals to Him. Over those four years, I made some of the most difficult decisions of my life, giving God many different areas of my life and sacrificing the goals I had in those areas.

That same journey that God led me on over those four years also led me overseas after college. While working overseas, I did set goals on my team, but they were directed by our leader and focused on the work there, not necessarily about my life in general.

As I returned to the US, my only real goal was to get a job and “figure out what was next.” I can’t tell you how many times I repeated that statement, “I’m just trying to figure out what’s next.” While this statement was true, and I really was trying to hear from God what He would have me to do, what I didn’t realize was that “next” was what was happening while I tried to figure out which direction to move. “Next” was happening to me; I wasn’t determining what it would be.

I would read the verse, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men…” (Colossians 3.23), and believe that God was ok with me floating along in life as long as I worked “heartily.” Now, I can tell you that I have absolutely not done all of my work “heartily, as for the Lord” but regardless of that fact, floating along is not God’s plan for my life. Deep down, I knew there was more, but I was scared to act, fearing that I would once again make goals that would just be taken away.

I have been essentially paralyzed, waiting to hear what was “next.” As a result, here I am, 2 years later, having not met any goals because I never really set any. Looking back, I see a key reason why I never set any goals: I viewed the goals as bad.

I saw God asking me to give up some pretty big goals in order to follow Him, and I began to see goals in general as bad. So I just stopped making goals. I completed my term overseas, came back to the US, and started floating along. Now I realize that coming back to the States required some adjustment time, but two years is a bit much. I have been afraid to set any goals because I viewed the goals as bad.

The reality, though, was that my goals were selfish and sinful idols in my life and that is why God asked me to give them up. They were interfering with my relationship with Him. I got so caught up in meeting the goals I had established, that I was unable to properly worship God. I was worshiping the goals and myself instead of Him, so the goals had to go.

The thing is, goals aren’t bad. We need direction and focus in our lives so that we continue to move forward. We just need to 1.) Pursue God in our goals and seek His goals for our lives and 2.) Keep our ultimate focus on God and not let our goals or ourselves eclipse Him.

God likes goals and purpose. God has purpose in what He does and for our lives. He will give us purpose and goals if we ask.

Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established. – Proverbs 16.3

We just need to be sure that we are seeking God’s goals and God’s fame, not our own goals, agenda, and fame.

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. – Proverbs 19.21

So for the first time, in a long time, I’m setting some goals. Some, I’ll meet this month. Some, I’ll meet this year. Some, I’ll meet later. Some, God will take away from me because they are not from Him.

My prayer is that these goals serve to bring God glory, and that when 2012 comes around, I can look back and see that I am closer to God than I am today because of these goals.