A Year Later...

Another year has passed, and yet in many ways I feel like I’m in the same place I was in January 2011. 

This thought has partially consumed my mind over the last couple months.  I know that I am not in the same place I was this time last year, but on the surface it seems that way.  I am in the same city, same house, same job, same lack of relationship, same education level, same financial situation. 

I struggle with feeling a lack of progress in my life.  I want to make things happen.  I want to make changes.  I want to see forward progress.  I want everyone else to be able to see forward progress.

And as I speak these feelings to God, He simply asks me, “Do you trust Me?”

Do I?

I say I do.  I want to.  In theory and concept, I do.  But in the details, in the timing, in the waiting, I don’t.  I struggle to believe this period of time in my life is good.  God says it is, though:

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.  For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son…” - Romans 8.28-29

The LORD is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.

It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD

- Lamentations 3.25-26

The good is not based on where I think I need to be or what I deserve.  It is not based on where everyone around me is, what they have, or the progress they are making.  It is based solely on God’s plan for me.  And His plan for me is not happiness, comfort, and security here and now.  It is the preparation of my soul for eternity.

So the question remains, “Do you trust Me?”

Do I trust Him enough to remain faithful and obedient in the waiting?  Do I trust that the work He is doing in my soul while my life seems to be on pause is infinitely more important than the “life” I feel is flying by me?

I sure want to.

Goals 2011

I talked some yesterday about how my thought process has changed over the last several years regarding goals. I’m reading and working through the book, 48 Days to the Work You Love (Dan Miller). He makes several good points about goals.

• - “…expectations of your future do, in fact, tend to create your future.”
• - “People often end up where they expect to end up.”
• - “…specific, worthwhile expectations…make your life more meaningful.”
• - “Start doing something that you’ve put off because of the risk of failure.”
• - “It is critical to define your own priorities. If you simply respond to circumstances, any obstacle will send you in a new direction.”

Miller also talks about making deposits in all areas of life – spiritual, personal development, physical, family, social, financial, and career. So here are some of the goals I have set for this year.

• - Have one full Sabbath day a month.
• - Read 25 books, at least 5 of them being biographies.
• - Finish writing a Bible study I started last year.
• - Participate in an athletic competition – I’m thinking the Mud Run, but we’ll see. (It won’t be another half marathon. Hasn’t been long enough since the last one to forget the pain and horror.)
• - Take at least 2 trips to VA to visit family.
• - Make time for coffee/dinner/something with one friend a week.
• - Save a certain amount of money and get more involved in my investments. (At least get my long-term emergency fund complete.)
• - Explore career opportunities that incorporate my skills/abilities, personality traits, and dreams/aspirations.

So there you go. I have a few more that I am still developing, but that’s what I’ve got for now. What about you? What are your goals for 2011?

New Year, New Goals

I don’t know if I have really set goals for my life in about 4 years. For those of you who know me, you may find that hard to believe or even think I’m lying.

When I was younger, I was an extremely driven, goal-oriented child. My mom has some pretty funny stories about my goals and determination. I think one of her favorites is from when I was in 3^rd grade. We had a project that we were given several weeks to do. My teacher told us that if we would just work 15 minutes or so everyday, we’d have no problem finishing it. Of course I wanted to do well on this project, so starting that day I would come home from school everyday and set our kitchen timer for 15 minutes and that’s how long I would work. I finished the project with no problems.

My determination to meet my goals has also been difficult at times, though. My goal in school was always to make straight A’s. I got a B once in 4^th grade and almost had a nervous breakdown. I felt the same crushing blow when I did not get into my first choice college.

These goals, whether met or not, typically provided good learning experiences for me. And looking back, the goals I was not able to meet probably taught me more than the ones I did.

So why has it been so long since I set goals?

In college, God did a huge work in my life and changed my life and priorities quite a bit. A large part of that was asking me to give up my selfish goals to Him. Over those four years, I made some of the most difficult decisions of my life, giving God many different areas of my life and sacrificing the goals I had in those areas.

That same journey that God led me on over those four years also led me overseas after college. While working overseas, I did set goals on my team, but they were directed by our leader and focused on the work there, not necessarily about my life in general.

As I returned to the US, my only real goal was to get a job and “figure out what was next.” I can’t tell you how many times I repeated that statement, “I’m just trying to figure out what’s next.” While this statement was true, and I really was trying to hear from God what He would have me to do, what I didn’t realize was that “next” was what was happening while I tried to figure out which direction to move. “Next” was happening to me; I wasn’t determining what it would be.

I would read the verse, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men…” (Colossians 3.23), and believe that God was ok with me floating along in life as long as I worked “heartily.” Now, I can tell you that I have absolutely not done all of my work “heartily, as for the Lord” but regardless of that fact, floating along is not God’s plan for my life. Deep down, I knew there was more, but I was scared to act, fearing that I would once again make goals that would just be taken away.

I have been essentially paralyzed, waiting to hear what was “next.” As a result, here I am, 2 years later, having not met any goals because I never really set any. Looking back, I see a key reason why I never set any goals: I viewed the goals as bad.

I saw God asking me to give up some pretty big goals in order to follow Him, and I began to see goals in general as bad. So I just stopped making goals. I completed my term overseas, came back to the US, and started floating along. Now I realize that coming back to the States required some adjustment time, but two years is a bit much. I have been afraid to set any goals because I viewed the goals as bad.

The reality, though, was that my goals were selfish and sinful idols in my life and that is why God asked me to give them up. They were interfering with my relationship with Him. I got so caught up in meeting the goals I had established, that I was unable to properly worship God. I was worshiping the goals and myself instead of Him, so the goals had to go.

The thing is, goals aren’t bad. We need direction and focus in our lives so that we continue to move forward. We just need to 1.) Pursue God in our goals and seek His goals for our lives and 2.) Keep our ultimate focus on God and not let our goals or ourselves eclipse Him.

God likes goals and purpose. God has purpose in what He does and for our lives. He will give us purpose and goals if we ask.

Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established. – Proverbs 16.3

We just need to be sure that we are seeking God’s goals and God’s fame, not our own goals, agenda, and fame.

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. – Proverbs 19.21

So for the first time, in a long time, I’m setting some goals. Some, I’ll meet this month. Some, I’ll meet this year. Some, I’ll meet later. Some, God will take away from me because they are not from Him.

My prayer is that these goals serve to bring God glory, and that when 2012 comes around, I can look back and see that I am closer to God than I am today because of these goals.