Waiting Here For You

I love the Christy Nockels song, "Waiting Here for You."  It expresses so well what I desire the state of my heart to be in times of waiting.

If faith can move the mountains
Let the mountains move
We come with expectation
Waiting here for you, I’m waiting here for you

You’re the Lord of all creation
And still you know my heart
The Author of Salvation 
You’ve loved us from the start

Waiting here for You
With our hands lifted high in praise
And it's You we adore
Singing Alleluia

You are everything You’ve promised
Your faithfulness is true
And we're desperate for Your presence
All we need is You
Waiting here for You
With our hands lifted high in praise
And it's You we adore
Singing Alleluia

Singing Alleluia
Alleluia, singing alleluia, alleluia
Waiting here for You
With our hands lifted high in praise
And it's You we adore
Singing Alleluia

Waiting here for you
With our hands lifted high in praise
And it's You we adore 
We're singing Alleluia

I'm singing Alleluia
Waiting here for you 
With our hands lifted high in praise
And it's You we adore 
Singing Alleluia
Singing Alleluia

- Waiting Here for You, Christy Nockels

A Year Later...

Another year has passed, and yet in many ways I feel like I’m in the same place I was in January 2011. 

This thought has partially consumed my mind over the last couple months.  I know that I am not in the same place I was this time last year, but on the surface it seems that way.  I am in the same city, same house, same job, same lack of relationship, same education level, same financial situation. 

I struggle with feeling a lack of progress in my life.  I want to make things happen.  I want to make changes.  I want to see forward progress.  I want everyone else to be able to see forward progress.

And as I speak these feelings to God, He simply asks me, “Do you trust Me?”

Do I?

I say I do.  I want to.  In theory and concept, I do.  But in the details, in the timing, in the waiting, I don’t.  I struggle to believe this period of time in my life is good.  God says it is, though:

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.  For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son…” - Romans 8.28-29

The LORD is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.

It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD

- Lamentations 3.25-26

The good is not based on where I think I need to be or what I deserve.  It is not based on where everyone around me is, what they have, or the progress they are making.  It is based solely on God’s plan for me.  And His plan for me is not happiness, comfort, and security here and now.  It is the preparation of my soul for eternity.

So the question remains, “Do you trust Me?”

Do I trust Him enough to remain faithful and obedient in the waiting?  Do I trust that the work He is doing in my soul while my life seems to be on pause is infinitely more important than the “life” I feel is flying by me?

I sure want to.

Pray, Sit, Watch, Listen

At our leadership dinner the other night at Grace Church, Matt Williams was talking about a particular ministry opportunity we may have in the future.  He shared how God seemed to be leading us in a certain direction with this opportunity, but there has been no “burning bush” moment, no audible voice regarding it.  So, he said, we will continue to pray, let it sit out there, and watch for doors to open or close.

This is essentially what I am doing right now with several things in my life.  I feel like God has started prompting me to make some movements in regards to missions and ministry, but I don’t feel like I have definite direction.  There seem to be several “options” out there, but I’m not sure which is the right one.  It’s possible that none of them is actually the correct direction.  That is easily an overwhelming thought for me.  Much anxiety surrounds the unknown and decisions about the future.

So when Matt shared where the church was and what we are doing in regards to this particular opportunity, I was comforted and encouraged.  I don’t feel so lost without all of the answers and I don’t feel like I’m proceeding or waiting in error.  God has called me to take some small steps in a few different directions, and I know that He will soon ask me to take some bigger steps.  With these steps, though, comes instruction.  As I move, God teaches.  My job is to listen.

Listening sometimes is the hardest part for me.  Action makes me feel productive.  Action feeds the achiever in me.  It is often a struggle for me to sit, pray, watch and listen.  But unless I can stop the busyness and quite myself, hearing from God is almost impossible.  And listening is imperative.  I feel like I’m on the cusp of change, but the direction is unknown.  God is giving me direction one step at a time.  I need to hear from Him.

So as I move, with each step, I must pause.  Pray, sit, watch, and listen.

The Wrong Step

Many times the reason I’m afraid to take the next step is that I’m worried it will be the wrong step.

I hate being wrong.  I hate the feeling that comes with being wrong – feeling ignorant, incapable, naïve.  It hurts my delicate pride.

Lately, as I have been searching for the next step, I feel like God is saying, “Even if you take a wrong step, which you will, you still need to take a step.”  He has been challenging me to move, to risk, to step.  He knows that I’m probably going to move in the wrong direction at some point.  And He knows I need to.

Here’s why…I’m typically very capable and in control.  That’s not me bragging or anything.  That’s just a reality of life for most of us.  I can easily rely on myself and my own strength to get things done.  I need to learn that my strength is not sufficient.  True strength is only found in my weakness.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” – 2 Corinthians 12.9

I need to learn that my plans are worthless without God directing. 

The heart of man plans his way,
but the LORD establishes his steps. – Proverbs 16.9

I believe God has to teach me these lessons now because I must be able to rely totally on Him in order to go where He is taking me.  I’m not sure where I’m headed but I know it will require faith.

And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. – Hebrews 11.6

Ultimately, I need to be humbled to realize that I am not perfect.  I am not God.  I am not in control.  But I have access to and community with God, the controller of the universe who tells the sun to shine and the waves to crash.  He can handle the tiny steps and missteps of my life.

The Next Step

I’m a planner.  I like (good) surprises, but I’m a planner.  I like to make calculated decisions.  I like to be sure.

Guess how often I am sure about a decision I make…rarely…especially the important ones.

I feel like many times when God calls me to move, He is leading me down a path that is not well lit.  The next step is usually clear, but often only the next step is clear.  Sometimes all I see behind it is pitch-black darkness.  That scares me.

When I am scared, I grasp for control.  I frantically start planning more.  I try to “regain” control (as if I ever had it) and assuredly navigate my future, basing my moves solely on my own knowledge and strength.  Why I ever feel capable of this is beyond me.  What I need is discernment and faith.  What I need is to ask God not for the whole map, but for the next step.

God is not going to give me the map.  He knows better than to trust me with it.  He knows I can’t handle it – that if I saw the map, saw where He was taking me, I probably wouldn’t go.  I’m not ready for the whole trip.  But He has prepared me for the next step.  And He will continue to prepare me for each next step.  I must continue to follow with each step, trusting not in my strength and wisdom, but in the One who guides my steps.

I love the way the author of Proverbs puts it:

Let your eyes look directly forward,
and your gaze be straight before you.

Ponder the path of your feet;
then all your ways will be sure.

-       Proverbs 4.25-26

He doesn’t say, “Look as far into the distance as you can; ponder the path miles ahead of you.”  He says to look “directly forward” and at the “path of your feet.” 

We can only do this when we are sure of our God who goes before us.

“Be strong and courageous, …It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” – Deuteronomy 31.7-8

So as I look to the future, I cannot let the uncertainty paralyze me.  I must take the next step in obedience and trust that God is already there. 

Sometimes We Just Need to Move

I think too often we trust our hearts much more than we should. Even when we know our hearts are in the wrong place, we believe that’s where the change will begin; where the good will come from. The Bible doesn’t say that.

But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. – Matthew 15.18-19

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? – Jeremiah 17.9

What we should rely on for change is the redemptive and regenerate work of Christ through the Holy Spirit. Christ cares about the condition of our hearts. He came to bring salvation and rebirth – that includes our hearts. I’m just not sure we have paid much attention to examples of change in the Bible or to Christ’s words.

We wait after hearing God’s call, believing or hoping that He will change our hearts on things before we are required to move or act, but that’s not the case.

Jesus didn’t instruct His first disciples to sit, think, and pray about following Him, and then when their hearts were right to come join Him. No, He just said, “Follow me,” (Matt. 4.7, 9.9; John 1.43)

He gives similar instruction to anyone who would be called His disciple. There is the same urgency; the same call to follow.

…”If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” – Matt. 16.24

He doesn’t say think about it and when it feels right, take up your cross and follow. He says deny yourself, now, and take up your cross. He knows that our hearts will follow. He knows that what He has in store for us is better than anything we could plan ourselves, but he knows that in order to get there, we must get past ourselves.

Jesus isn’t about behavior modification. That’s not what this is about. Jesus cares deeply for our souls, but He knows that our hearts and souls are connected to our bodies. Our bodies can lead our hearts – either toward sin or toward Christ.

Has God showed you a particular sin in your life that you need to give up? Don’t wait until your heart is “ready” – it may never be. Just move. Is God leading you through an open door for a new ministry? Certainly take time to ask God for discernment and understanding of His call, but don’t expect your heart to fully be on board before you start. Your passion for it may never have an opportunity to flourish if you never experience it. Just move. Is God asking you to adopt or renew a discipline in your life? Don’t wait for your heart to get excited about it. Discipline means work, and that’s hard to get excited about. Just move.

There are times when our hearts are moved to change before our actions, but many times it is the willful act of discipline in the physical realm that leads our hearts to follow Christ with greater abandon. Sometimes we just need to move.

Hypotheticals

Donald Miller wrote a blog a couple weeks ago entitled, A Creator Doesn’t Entertain Hypotheticals. Miller’s blog was talking about not entertaining hypotheticals as a writer, but when I first read the blog title, I immediately thought about God.

God doesn’t deal in hypotheticals. He doesn’t need to. He is all-powerful. He creates reality and deals in reality. I need hypotheticals because I’m not all-powerful and I’m not in control. The only thing I can even partially control is my mind (though it easily gets out of control and crazy), so I try to control situations in my mind.

I create hypothetical situations because it makes me feel in control and prepared, but that is not reality. I create hypotheticals because I would rather put my faith in a completely made up situation and fake control than in the One who really has all control and power. I’d rather let my mind go crazy over a hypothetical situation than spend time communicating with the One who’s actually in control.

So I freak out and come to God with all of my “What if’s…?” and He doesn’t even dismiss them. Instead, He comforts me with His “But God’s…” If I would just spend time focusing on His power and talking with Him, not only would I be continually reminded of Truth, but I wouldn’t have time for all of those hypotheticals.

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ… “- Ephesians 2.4-5

“but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5.8

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” – Psalm 73.26

‘We’re Looking to You’

“We’re helpless…We don’t know what to do; we’re looking to you.” 2 Chronicles 20.12 (The Message)

I’ve written about this verse before (I think on my last blog), but I decided I wanted to write on it again.  It’s just such a cool story of humility, reliance on God, and victory in God. 

Here is (without going into major Israelite history about which I’m not well educated) the context: 

Jehoshaphat was king of Judah.  Some people (Moabites, Ammonites, and Meunites) were about to attack Judah.  Jehoshaphat, for good reason, was worried.  He ordered a nationwide fast throughout Judah, seeking God’s help.  Then he prayed to God in front of all the people.  He recognized God for who He is, His power, and His love.  He presented the situation to God.  Then He prayed this:

‘We’re helpless before this vandal horde ready to attack us.  We don’t know what to do; we’re looking to you.’ (v.12)

He humbled himself in front of God and all of the people under his leadership.  He admitted he didn’t know what to do, and looked to God for the answer.  (A person in authority admitting they don’t have the answer right now and turning to God for it – that’s a blog all in itself; maybe another day.) 

What did the people do?

‘Everyone in Judah was there – little children, wives, sons – all present and attentive to God.’ (v.13)

They followed their leader…to the feet of their Lord.

And then it says a man named Jahaziel was ‘moved by the Spirit of God.’ (v.14)  God gave him the answer to their prayers.  He said to them:

‘God’s word:  Don’t be afraid; don’t pay any mind to this vandal horde.  This is God’s war, not yours.  Tomorrow you’ll go after them; see, they’re already on their way up the slopes of Ziz; you’ll meet them at the end of the ravine near the wilderness of Jeruel.  You won’t have to lift a hand in this battle; just stand firm, Judah and Jerusalem, and watch God’s saving work for you take shape.  Don’t be afraid, don’t wavier.  March out boldly tomorrow – God is with you.’ (v. 15-17)

And then Jehoshaphat and all the people laughed at Jahaziel, told him he was crazy, and began making preparations for war, while still freaking out, right?  Nope.

‘Then Jehoshaphat knelt down, bowing with his face to the ground.  All Judah and Jerusalem did the same, worshiping God.  The Levites…stood to their feet to praise God, the God of Israel; they praised at the top of their lungs!’  (v. 18-19)

So early the next morning they left for battle.  Here is part of the charge Jehoshaphat gave them:

‘Believe firmly in God, your God, and you lives will be firm!’ (v. 20)

The Jehoshaphat got a choir (you know, just your everyday wartime choir).  He put them in robes and made them march AHEAD of the troops singing.  What???  Are you serious?  Here’s what they were singing:

‘Give thanks to God, His love never quits.’ (v. 21)

Ok, stop.  Rewind.  So Judah is about to be attacked by several enemy armies.  Their kings says, “Wow, this isn’t good.  I have no idea what to do.”  They fast and pray.  One crazy guy says, “Oh yeah, God told me to tell you not to worry, He’s gonna take care of it.  No worries.”  The king is like, “Sweet, lets have a concert, as we go to battle.” 

Is this for real?  Yup.  Know why?  Because that’s how awesome God is.  That’s the kind of assurance, peace, and confidence in Him we get when we trust and follow Him.  Because He is Almighty and All-powerful.  Because when He says He’s got it under control, He’s got it under control.

Notice something else about the story so far?  There has been no other indication, besides the promise of God, that Judah would even be survive, let alone be victorious…And they are praising and singing to God about His awesome love.  All they have as they march into battle is the promise God spoke through one man.  That’s it.  They didn’t all grow into giants.  God didn’t help them develop some super secret strategy or some super awesome weapon.  He just gave them a promise.  And they believed Him.

Well, in case you are still wondering what happened…When the people of Judah started singing, God sent ambushes against the enemy armies, and they basically destroyed each other.  Judah arrived to see ‘a killing field of dead bodies.’  So Judah didn’t have to lift a hand.  They won because they trusted God and He fought their battle.

This story came to mind today as I was thinking about my family, the economy, my job, and other things that I like to worry about on a daily basis.  God just kept bringing to mind that verse, ‘We don’t know what to do, but our eyes are on You.’ 

Things are really hard for most people right now.  It seems like the economy is at the forefront of most people’s thoughts, but there are other problems, too.  I know I can’t understand anyone else’s problems, so it seems like it would be naïve of me to offer a solution.  That would be true if the solution was a solution I came up with.  Fortunately, it’s not.  It’s God’s solution.

Trust God. 

God gave Judah a promise through one man.  They believed Him.  They believed Him for no other reason, except that He is God.  And they won.

God gave us a Promise, too.  And that Promise humbled himself, came to earth, and died so that we could have the ultimate victory.  He didn’t die just so we could live forever in Heaven.  He died so we could have eternal life.  That life starts now.  That life in Christ starts as soon as we put our faith in Him.  As soon as we accept that He won the war against the enemy and death, we begin to live a victorious life.

‘For, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” ‘ (Romans 10.13, NIV)

This doesn’t mean we don’t need to do anything or work hard or have a job.  It just means we don’t need to worry.  We don’t need to fear.  God has said He is on our side.  We just have to trust Him.  Even when we can’t see what’s ahead or all we can see is a huge storm cloud and a cliff, trust Him.  When you don’t know what to do, turn your eyes to Him.

‘God has assured us, “I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you.” ‘ (Hebrews 13.5, Msg)

 

Main passage:  2 Chronicles 20