Encouraging Conversations

God continues to pull me back into Him, reminding me of His power, His provision, His blessing, and His calling on my life.  His Spirit is opening my eyes again and awakening my heart to His leading more and more.  It has been such a sweet reminder that He is in the details of my life and has never left me, even when I turned from His leading.

A few weeks ago, I went to Charleston with a friend in preparation for my move in May.  The weekend as a whole was very encouraging and increased my excitement for moving and starting school, and helped solidify confidence in my decision. 

I found myself in the middle of a very interesting conversation the first night.  The family we stayed with is involved in medical missions, so it didn’t take long for that topic to come up.  As we started talking about missions, the conversation moved to my past and future involvement in missions.  As we were talking, I heard myself speaking so naturally about my hopes for future mission involvement, and remembered very clearly God’s call for me to use whatever opportunities He gives me (medical or otherwise) for His purposes.

As I heard words of excitement and joy for God’s work coming out of my mouth, though, I also had the thought, “Do I even deserve to be in this conversation?  Am I worthy of saying the things that I am saying?  After the struggles, drifting, sin, and general shortcomings that have become so clear over the past year, who am I to share in the joy of missions?”

The answer to those questions is that I am even less worthy than I know.  My sin is worse than I can see or believe.  I don’t deserve to experience God’s work in the lives of others any more than I deserve to experience His grace in my life.

…but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5.8

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” – 2 Corinthians 12.9

I have known and quoted these verses for years, believing I understood them.  And I did understand them to an extent.  But until I truly understand the depths of my sin and brokenness, I cannot fully understand His grace.  So I still do not fully grasp the power and thoroughness of His grace. 

The more God reveals Himself to me, though, the more I see my sin, and the more opportunity there is to see His grace.  That is not automatic, though.  I must continually be reminded of His love and acceptance of me based on nothing but the blood of Christ in order to experience His grace.  Otherwise, the revelation of my sin only leads straight to the pit.  As one who daily receives grace, then, I am called to daily show grace and lead others to the Giver of grace.

My prayer, like that of Paul, then, is

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. – 2 Corinthians 11.30

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.  For when I am weak, then I am strong. – 2 Corinthians 12.9-10

My desire, though I am far from it, is to struggle well in grace and invite others to struggle well with me.

What's Your Umbrella?

There’s an expression that says, “If you’re going to pray for rain, carry an umbrella.” Now, personally, if I’m praying for rain, I don’t want an umbrella. If I’m praying for rain, it’s so that I can dance in it, play football in it, take a good nap, or get off work early – none of which require an umbrella. However, I understand the idea of the expression. If you are going to pray to God for something, believe that He is going to answer.

In John 14 Jesus says, “Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.”

Does this really mean that Jesus will give us anything we want? No. Just before saying this, He says, “…whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do…” And in Psalm 37.4 we are told, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

God will actually place His desires on our hearts, so that we “may all be one,” as Jesus prayed, “…just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us…” (John 17).

As our hearts align with God’s heart and our desires become His desires, He will call us to certain things. He will direct our paths and our ways. Our prayers will become God’s desires for our lives - His calling on our lives.

But when God calls us to something, we don’t just pray and wait for Him to act. (Sometimes He may tell us to do that, but not always.) When God calls us to something, He intends for us to act. Our initial action may not be what we saw or heard in our vision from the Lord, though. That action or task may still be far off in the distance. We may not currently be able to see any possible way of accomplishing what God has called us to do. But we can still act. There is always preparation time for everything.

God has been showing me lately how the acts of preparation are really acts of faith. When God calls me to something or I am praying for something I believe is in line with His will for my life, my prayer is not the end of my action. I don’t just pray and wait for God to do something. I pray and listen for God’s direction, and then I act in accordance with it. I do what I can with what He has given me to reach the goal that He has placed in front of me.

I realize that I have been talking very theoretically, and many times it is easier to talk theoretically than it is to act practically. So here is a practical application from my life…

About 6 months ago, I sensed God telling me to sell my car and pay, pay off the loan on it, and buy a car with cash so that I could have more money each month to give away. Well it took about a month or 2 to surrender to that call from the Lord. Once I did, I made very weak efforts to sell the car. Honestly, I was overwhelmed with the thought of selling a car, buying a car, and figuring out how to still have something to drive to work.

Well, I began to hear God giving me very simple, practical steps of preparation so that the whole process wouldn’t be so overwhelming. Some of those steps were: call the bank and get an idea of what the pay-off on the loan was, clean my car so that if someone wanted to see it that was already done, set parameters for the purchase of a new car so that my search was narrowed down, and (my least favorite thing to do) ask some people for help/advice.

Long story short, my car was sold and loan paid off, I am borrowing a truck right now, and I think I have a car to buy. None of this was based on my efforts, but on God’s faithfulness and the willingness of my church family to be a blessing in my life. However, I discovered that as I faithfully took steps of preparation, God showed His faithfulness to me in many ways.

Oswald Chambers has this to say about preparation and readiness:

“Readiness means having a right relationship to God and having the knowledge of where we are…the man or woman who is ready for God and His work is the one who receives the prize when the summons comes…Readiness for God means that we are prepared to do the smallest thing or the largest thing…It means we have no choice in what we ant to do, but that whatever God’s plans may be, we are there and ready…Think of the time we waste trying to get ready once God has called!”

So what has God called you to that you need to be making yourself ready for? Has He called you to surrender your idea of success and spend more time preparing yourself for better for ministry? Has He called you to give your finances completely to Him so that He can use you and them as He wishes? Has He called you to prepare to be a spouse and parent, even in a stage of singleness? Or has He called you to something completely different that He has called me?

What is your umbrella? Are you ready to carry it?