Do you ever feel like everyone started the race ahead of you and now all you can do is try to catch up and make your defeat look not so bad? That's kind of how I've been feeling lately - well part of it, at least. I feel like I'm playing catch up - only I don't know who or what I'm trying to catch up with. It's a weird feeling.
And I think the feeling of being behind is causing me to move my focus from where it should be. It's like I'm trying to focus on the runners in front of me instead of on the finish line...which wouldn't be so bad if we were all running the same race, but that's not always the case. Sometimes the people I start following are running to a different finish line, so when I start following them, I get thrown completely off course. And sometimes, even if our finish line is the same, we are supposed to be on two different tracks and I get all confused about which track I'm on when I start focussing on them instead of the finish line to my track.
It's like I just came to the bottom of a downhill stretch of the race and now I'm headed back uphill...Except now I'm not just going uphill - now I'm in a dense forrest and it's cloudy and windy, so I can barely see the ground for my next step. So what do I do? I panic. I stop keeping my finish in mind and stop concentrating on one step after another, and I turn my eyes - even for just a second - to the runners around me. I want to see who's ahead of me and where everyone else is going instead of staying on my path. And then, not only do I get off track, but I also start tripping and falling because I'm not even aware of where my next step should go.
If I just take a breath and deliberately turn my focus back to where it should be, I know what my path is and where it leads, and I know what I need to do...
"...run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith." - Hebrews 12.1-2
"...press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3.14
at least you can see other runners around you where you're running, haha.
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