Chosen

I think it started in 5^th grade.  It was always in me; always a desire in my heart, but it really came out in 5^th grade.  Maybe it’s because that desire was at least partially fulfilled then or maybe I just came to a greater understanding of what my heart desired.

I’m talking about being chosen.  Being picked first.  Being favored.  Being loved.  Call it what you want – fear of man, arrogant, needy, self-centered – but we all desire to be chosen on some level.  It’s inside of us.  It’s rooted deep in our hearts.

In 5^th grade I changed schools.  I went from a private school where I felt alone and ostracized and very different than everyone else to a school where I almost immediately felt accepted.  I had a great relationship with my teacher and made friends quickly.  I was a pretty athletic kid, and it only took a couple days on the playground for the other kids to start picking me among the first for dodge ball or kickball or whatever.  I liked that. 

That continued through middle school.  I got picked first for sports.  Teachers would give me “special” projects or privileges.  I was president of clubs, gave speeches for different events, and had various other responsibilities. 

While I thought these things were fulfilling at the time, they were only increasing my desire to be chosen.  And while they were deepening that desire, they were also helping me buy into the lie that something besides Christ could satisfy my desire to be chosen.  I still believed in Christ and somewhat understood my need for Him in my life, but these idols clouded my vision of Him and damaged my relationship with Him.

Then at some point in high school, I realized that I wasn’t being chosen for as much.  I wasn’t the best at everything.  People didn’t pick me first for the team.  Guys didn’t ask me out.  Each disappointment came with its own heartbreak.  I got cut from my first team when I was 15.  I didn’t get into my first or second choice for college.  I wasn’t first in my class.  As each idol broke my heart, I was devastated.

I think we all experience some level of devastation at some time or another.  We all have idols that we think will satisfy our desires.  It’s rooted deep in our hearts.

But no matter how many times we’re picked first for the team, asked out by the dream guy, or chosen for a certain honor, we’ll never be completely fulfilled.  The only true fulfillment comes in being chosen and loved by Christ.  So many times, though, we look everywhere else to be fulfilled.  So many times, I turn my gaze to temporal things and imperfect people to fill the hole only Christ can fulfill. 

And the truly crazy thing is that He has already chosen us.  He chose us before we breathed our first.  He chose us before the foundation of the world.  He chose us, knowing that it would cost Him His glory in coming to the earth, being abused, and dying for us.  He chose us knowing that even as He conquered death in His resurrection, He would be rejected by those for whom He died.  And He chose us anyway.

I am chosen.  You are chosen.  We are chosen.