Modesty - Instructing the Next Generation

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women…” – Titus 2.3-4

As I conclude this series of posts on modesty, I wanted to say a quick word about offering instruction and correction to the next generation of women.  I realize that my experience is relatively limited due to my age, but I also recognize that God has blessed me with knowledge from His Spirit and wonderful mentors and teachers who have helped shape me in the area of modesty.  So I feel that I have something to add to this conversation, and more importantly a responsibility to do so.

We, as older Christian women, have done the generations of women behind us a disservice by remaining silent many times on the issue of modesty.  Culture is not remaining silent.  Culture has a voice in this discussion, and that voice is telling our young women to be prettier, skinnier, and sexier.  Culture is putting value on appearance and finding identity in being desired by others.  Culture is not silent on this issue.  We cannot afford to be silent, either.

I’m not saying that all Christian women are silent, but we’re certainly not doing a great job of talking to our younger women.  I know that personally, no one instructed me individually on this issue as a child or teenager.  And I believe that’s what it’s going to take – one on one, real, honest conversations.  We can address this issue in large group teaching, but I don’t think it’s going to hit home the same way as it will with open dialogue.

These conversations will be awkward and difficult, but difficult conversations are much better than broken hearts and destructive behavior.  We need to get to the core heart issues of value and identity with these young women.  They need to understand that the Creator of the universe delights in them and has chosen them to be His daughters.  They need to see that our value cannot be determined by ourselves or anyone else because it was already determined by Christ when He died for us. 

They need to hear this from mothers and older women, and see it lived out in our lives.  They also desperately need to hear this from their fathers.  Dads, daughters need to hear you speak the words of Proverbs 31 and have you praise those qualities in them and in their mother.

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31.30

Young women need to be aware of the struggles of men and be taught how to love them well in light of this.  They need to learn how to put the needs and interests of others above themselves and their selfish desires.  They will not be aware of these struggles unless someone tells them.  I wasn’t.

We must be careful not to be harsh or judgmental in these conversations, but we must relay the importance and seriousness of the topic.  We need to love and affirm the young women in our lives.  We need to be an example for them and not be afraid to offer loving, gentle correction.

Yes, by having these conversations and offering correction, we are opening ourselves up to scrutiny based on what we wear and how we act.  We’re not perfect, and we will mess up.  We all struggle with this issue on some level.  What a great opportunity, though, to show them what it looks like to wrestle with these issues and accept correction when we need it.

We have an opportunity to shape the next generation and impact the direction of their lives.  We can be a part of God’s redemptive hand in their minds and hearts if we are willing.  If we are serious about following Christ and influencing the next generation for Him,  we cannot be silent.