Modesty - Identity and Value (part 1)

I don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t like attention in one form or another.  Now, not all of us like being up in front of people or being the focus of the gaze of 500 pairs of eyes, but we all like attention.  We all want to be noticed for something – our work, our uniqueness, our talents, our appearance, etc.  Why?

We find value in the honor of attention from others.  Attention from others is not inherently bad.  We were made for relationships and community and attention or focus from others is a natural part of that.  What is wrong is when our value is corrupted by the need for attention; when our identity becomes rooted in how others see and define us.

When you think about it, allowing another person to define your identity is an awfully great amount of power to give someone who is as imperfect as you are and who can only know so much about you.  But we all do it everyday. 

This is particularly true when it comes to females and their appearance.  I was going to say teenage girls (because they seem to be the focus of many of the modesty discussions), but the truth is all women have a tendency to put value in their appearance. 

We desire to be delighted in and want to be desired.  We want to be affirmed.  Culture tells us that we will only be affirmed and delighted in based on our physical appearance.  Almost all of the images we are bombarded with on a daily basis convey the message that sensuality equates to beauty.  And at some point each of us begins to believe that.

What culture does not teach us is that when we place our value and identity in our ability to be desired sexually, we are placing our hope in an empty, evil idol.  This idol will rob you of your joy and leave you feeling used, unwanted, and abandoned.  You will never be pretty enough.  You will never be skinny enough.  You will never have the best body.  You will never be desired enough.

Oh, but we will try.  We wear clothes that culture tells us will get people’s attention.  We go on crazy diets to try to get the best body.  We do whatever it takes to gain attention and be desired.  And we teach the next generation to do the same.

The answer isn’t in changing our wardrobe, though.  It’s not a matter of where we shop.  It’s a matter of where our heart rests and our identity lies.  We have a Savior who desires to delight in us.  He desires to define our identity.  He desires to give us joy, confidence, and rest from the acceptance battle.

When Christ defines our identity, we no longer look to others to define us.  When our desire for acceptance is met in Christ, we are free to be who He created us to be without looking to others for acceptance.

So as we consider how we dress and how we partner with and raise up the next generation of young women, let us do so in light of the Gospel.  The Gospel allows us to be distinct, to be different, and to be delighted in by Christ.  When our identity and value come only from Christ, our clothing will be a non-issue.

“…and the king will desire your beauty.” – Psalm 45.11

“For the Lord your God is living among you.

He is a mighty savior.

He will take delight in you with gladness.

With his love, he will calm all your fears.

He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” – Zephaniah 3.17

Modesty

Modesty.  That word seems to be coming up in conversation a lot lately.  Maybe it comes up more at the same time each year, as summer approaches, and I just haven’t been sensitive to it.  This year, though, I feel like I have had more conversations about modesty and what it means to be modest. 

We talked in our Ezer study about modesty and how it is more than just what you wear.  It’s about how you carry yourself and how you love others.  One of my favorite questions that came up as a check on modesty was, “Are you a ‘here I am’ person or a ‘there you are’ person?” 

We can certainly see examples of modest and immodest behavior all over our culture – politics, athletics, movies, and at work.  So if modesty is about more than what you wear, why do people put so much emphasis on what women wear?  Why does Paul feel the need to directly address it in his letter to Timothy?

“…women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control…” – 1 Timothy 2.9

I think this video gives us, as women, a clear idea of why our choice of clothing is important:

I encourage you to listen to the entire sermon and share it.

As the men in the video share, I think that many women do not understand how their choice of clothing affects men.  I don’t think this is always true, though.  Many women know exactly what they are doing when they get dressed.  I think the other, perhaps more pervasive reason behind immodest dress is an issue of value and identity.

In my next several posts, I will elaborate on these 2 reasons and I would love to hear your feedback and thoughts.

Modesty - Identity and Value Part 1
Modesty - Identity and Value Part 2
Modesty - Loving Well
Modesty - Instructing the Next Generation

...to Express Glory and Beauty.

Yesterday, I went with a friend to check out Artisphere in downtown Greenville. It was fun to walk around and check out all of the interesting and unique forms of art on display. From paintings to sculpture to photography, each tent was unique. They also had performing arts, music, and even culinary arts, though we didn't make it in time to see those.

I appreciate all kinds of art, even when it's not necessarily my style. I think there are some forms I appreciate mainly based on the fact that I can't create them myself. I really enjoy painting and drawing, but please don't ask me to pain a portrait of someone. It will, at best, be disappointing, and at worst, offensive. God just didn't gift me in that area.

He did gift others with painting, sculpting, singing, playing, dancing, and other forms of art. I was reading in Exodus this week about the design and creation of the tabernacle and everything that went along with it. In Exodus 31, God tells Moses that He specifically gifted Bezalel and Oholiab with abilities in crafts, design, and the use of gold, silver, bronze, and wood. I don't ever remember seeing "craftsmanship" on the list of spiritual gifts, but here God says that He specifically gifted them in these areas. So why did He give them these gifts?

In Exodus 28, as a part of instruction for making clothing for the priests, we read:

"Make tunics, sashes, and hats...to express glory and beauty." (Exodus 28.40, MSG)

God gave (and gives) gifts of art for the same reason He gave (and gives) all other gifts - to bring Himself glory.

Is it possible to create beautiful art without brining God glory? Of course. But it's like what we were talking about last night with the high school students. Our life is meant to be a life of continuous worship. As Jeremy put it, "Anything in your life that isn't sin has the potential to be an act of worship."

So if you have artistic ability - dancing, singing, painting, photography, etc - do it all unto the Lord (Colossians 3.23). And when you see, hear, or otherwise experience beautiful art, give glory to the Creator of all beauty, your Lord, Jesus Christ.