My last post focused on submission, particularly in marriage. So what does that mean for single women? What are we supposed to do with that information? I think the answer is interesting.
The idea of marriage is exciting to me. I would like to be married eventually (and if I’m honest, most days eventually = now). It hasn’t always been like that. I used to think marriage was just another step in adulthood, but not that important. Then my perspective changed, and marriage became very important to me – it became something I sought after. And people would say not to make marriage my focus, not let it become an idol. At the same time, though, other people would talk about the high value of marriage, and especially the high calling of being a wife and mother. Those 2 messages seem almost contradictory.
But they’re not.
John Piper tweeted a statement the other day that resonated with me because it brought those 2 contradictory ideas together in the same sentence. This was his tweet: “An unmarried woman should have a high view of marriage, but also of God's sovereignty in her own life." (Nancy Wilson)
Marriage is important and holy, instituted by the Lord. We are to view it as such. We cannot make it an idol, though, which happens when we view marriage above Christ. Being married is not more important than walking with Christ and being sanctified for all eternity by Him. And, yet, sometimes we place it above Him. That is sin, and we must repent of it.
The answer to idolizing marriage is not to condemn it, though, which is sometimes the tendency. We are tempted to devalue marriage in an attempt to combat our own sinful idolatry. That is just as wrong. Marriage is of great value because it was created by God. Marriage is a picture of Christ and His church. We are not to condemn it, but to value and respect it as an institution ordained by God.
The solution to these two extreme views is not found in the middle of them, but is instead found in the freedom of the Gospel of Christ. Christ’s death and resurrection brings freedom in life – whether single or married. A life dedicated to Christ is a life free from the constraints of this world and our culture.
When we are freed from those constraints, we can take our focus off of them and off of ourselves. We can turn our eyes to things above, to Christ, where they should be. When we turn our eyes to Christ, we see what we are to be living for – Him.
So then as a single woman, my focus is not on getting married, but on giving my life up for Christ. It’s about laying down my rights – both in my singleness and in marriage – and picking up my cross. It means that I don’t need to worry about when or if I will get married because my only worry is how Christ is asking me to die to myself today.
Too often, we are so focused on trying to change our situation or move on to the next stage that we fail to see God’s hand in our current situation. We allow our selfish dissatisfaction to kill God’s joy in our lives. We waste what God has given us and where He has placed us. If we are not being faithful where we are, we are not preparing for the future God has for us, and when He takes us there we will not be ready and we will fail.
Our eyes must remain on Christ. He is at work in our lives – growing, teaching, stretching, and molding. God’s goal in our lives is sanctification. He prepares us for each stage as He brings them to us, but ultimately all of His work in us is preparing us to spend eternity with Him. That’s where our eyes need to be.
Am I living like this? Sometimes. Not always. Because it’s difficult. It doesn’t come easy. It’s not natural. But I’m called to intentionally put the natural, earthly me to death so that I may be raised with Christ in holiness.
If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. – Colossians 3.1-4
No comments:
Post a Comment