Modesty - Identity and Value (part 2)

       Picasso - Girl Before a Mirror

Corruption of our value and identity isn’t only about how we dress or how we carry ourselves.  The issue is much deeper than that. 

The core heart issue concerning value and identity is whether our righteousness is self-generated or Christ-generated.

This article does a great job explaining the difference and showing how the Gospel gives us what we could never give ourselves:  righteousness and peace.

Modesty - Identity and Value (part 1)

I don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t like attention in one form or another.  Now, not all of us like being up in front of people or being the focus of the gaze of 500 pairs of eyes, but we all like attention.  We all want to be noticed for something – our work, our uniqueness, our talents, our appearance, etc.  Why?

We find value in the honor of attention from others.  Attention from others is not inherently bad.  We were made for relationships and community and attention or focus from others is a natural part of that.  What is wrong is when our value is corrupted by the need for attention; when our identity becomes rooted in how others see and define us.

When you think about it, allowing another person to define your identity is an awfully great amount of power to give someone who is as imperfect as you are and who can only know so much about you.  But we all do it everyday. 

This is particularly true when it comes to females and their appearance.  I was going to say teenage girls (because they seem to be the focus of many of the modesty discussions), but the truth is all women have a tendency to put value in their appearance. 

We desire to be delighted in and want to be desired.  We want to be affirmed.  Culture tells us that we will only be affirmed and delighted in based on our physical appearance.  Almost all of the images we are bombarded with on a daily basis convey the message that sensuality equates to beauty.  And at some point each of us begins to believe that.

What culture does not teach us is that when we place our value and identity in our ability to be desired sexually, we are placing our hope in an empty, evil idol.  This idol will rob you of your joy and leave you feeling used, unwanted, and abandoned.  You will never be pretty enough.  You will never be skinny enough.  You will never have the best body.  You will never be desired enough.

Oh, but we will try.  We wear clothes that culture tells us will get people’s attention.  We go on crazy diets to try to get the best body.  We do whatever it takes to gain attention and be desired.  And we teach the next generation to do the same.

The answer isn’t in changing our wardrobe, though.  It’s not a matter of where we shop.  It’s a matter of where our heart rests and our identity lies.  We have a Savior who desires to delight in us.  He desires to define our identity.  He desires to give us joy, confidence, and rest from the acceptance battle.

When Christ defines our identity, we no longer look to others to define us.  When our desire for acceptance is met in Christ, we are free to be who He created us to be without looking to others for acceptance.

So as we consider how we dress and how we partner with and raise up the next generation of young women, let us do so in light of the Gospel.  The Gospel allows us to be distinct, to be different, and to be delighted in by Christ.  When our identity and value come only from Christ, our clothing will be a non-issue.

“…and the king will desire your beauty.” – Psalm 45.11

“For the Lord your God is living among you.

He is a mighty savior.

He will take delight in you with gladness.

With his love, he will calm all your fears.

He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” – Zephaniah 3.17

Modesty

Modesty.  That word seems to be coming up in conversation a lot lately.  Maybe it comes up more at the same time each year, as summer approaches, and I just haven’t been sensitive to it.  This year, though, I feel like I have had more conversations about modesty and what it means to be modest. 

We talked in our Ezer study about modesty and how it is more than just what you wear.  It’s about how you carry yourself and how you love others.  One of my favorite questions that came up as a check on modesty was, “Are you a ‘here I am’ person or a ‘there you are’ person?” 

We can certainly see examples of modest and immodest behavior all over our culture – politics, athletics, movies, and at work.  So if modesty is about more than what you wear, why do people put so much emphasis on what women wear?  Why does Paul feel the need to directly address it in his letter to Timothy?

“…women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control…” – 1 Timothy 2.9

I think this video gives us, as women, a clear idea of why our choice of clothing is important:

I encourage you to listen to the entire sermon and share it.

As the men in the video share, I think that many women do not understand how their choice of clothing affects men.  I don’t think this is always true, though.  Many women know exactly what they are doing when they get dressed.  I think the other, perhaps more pervasive reason behind immodest dress is an issue of value and identity.

In my next several posts, I will elaborate on these 2 reasons and I would love to hear your feedback and thoughts.

Modesty - Identity and Value Part 1
Modesty - Identity and Value Part 2
Modesty - Loving Well
Modesty - Instructing the Next Generation

When Following Means Leaving

Sometimes, following Jesus means staying where He has called us. Sometimes, following Jesus means leaving.

Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you.” – Genesis 12.1

God calls different people to go to different places and minister in different ways. He called Abram to a different place…He didn’t even tell him where he was going. God just said, “Go.”

It’s always kind of a scary, exciting thing when God says, “Go.” It’s even scarier to answer and obey.

My friends, the Espinosas recently answered the call to Go. Their family of 5 is currently serving in Allendale, SC, one of the poorest areas in South Carolina. They are engaging an entirely different culture with the Gospel and the love of Christ.

My friends, the Osborns answered the call, and are preparing to move to Papua New Guinea. They are moving their family of 5 across the world to help translate the Bible for a people who currently do not have the Bible in their own language.

Both of these families are leaving friends and family here in Greenville because of the call of Christ to follow Him. Their kids are having to leave friends and will have to make friends in an entirely different culture. While they know where they are going geographically, they don’t know all of the steps in front of them.

Here’s what they do know, though: God is faithful.

He who calls you is faithful… - 1 Thessalonians 5.24

…he who promised is faithful. – Hebrews 10.23

Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations… - Deuteronomy 7.9

I love that I have friends who model obedience and faith in the Lord. The Osborns and Espinosas are just two examples of the wonderful people God has brought in my life to draw me closer to Him. I love that they push me to greater faith and stronger obedience. I love that they remind me of the sacrifice involved in obedience. As our pastor reminded us this weekend, “Opportunity is always merged with sacrifice.”

Recently I was presented with an opportunity to get involved with a new ministry. It is a wonderful opportunity, and for a few months I tried to fully commit to this ministry without giving up anything. The result was that all of my ministries suffered, as did my sleep. This was not surprising to me. I’ve been here before, so I’m not sure why I expected different results.

I knew that I had to decide which ministry to continue pursuing. I had to drop one. I had to sacrifice. I had to leave. Though it was a difficult decision, I did step down from one ministry. Though “leaving” in this case wasn’t geographic, it was still difficult, and it will mean that at the very least some of my relationships will change.

I would love to wait a year from now to write this post so I could tell you I made the right decision and share with you everything the Lord was doing through this ministry, but that wouldn’t require much faith. Instead, I’m writing about it on the front end, saying that I felt called to take a big step into something and risk much so that I need God to show up. It’s a risk that, if God doesn’t show up, I will look bad. But that’s the idea – that’s how our faith grows.

And I know God will show up, because He is faithful. He may not show up in the box I create for Him or in the way I ask Him to, but He will show up. So a year from now, I may not be writing about every dream I have for this ministry coming true, but I guarantee you I will be able to write about how God grew me and drew me closer to Him. I’ll be able to write about the amazing and unexpected things He did in the lives of others through this ministry. I’ll be able to write about how God brought glory upon Himself through the obedience of His children.

The Osborns and Espinosas will be able to do the same, as well. Because when God says, “Go,” we may not be sure where we’re going, but we can be sure that He is already there.