Something Beautiful

So it's been quite awhile since I've posted, but I wanted to share this song with you. If you don't know how I feel about songs and lyrics, go here. My current favorite song is on Needtobreathe's new album, The Outsiders. You should buy it. Trust me. But, yeah, these lyrics are awesome, and the music is good, too (which is why you should go ahead and buy the album). When I saw them in concert a few weeks ago, they did an "unplugged" version, and it was ah-mazing. Enjoy. You're welcome.

Something Beautiful

In your ocean I'm ankle deep,
I feel the waves crashing on my feet;
It's like I know where I need to be
But I can't figure out,
I can't figure out
Just how much air I will need to breathe
When your tide washes over me,
There's only one way to figure out
Will you let me drown?
Will you let me drown?

Hey now, this is my desire:
Consume me like a fire
Cause I just want something beautiful to touch me -
I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees
Waiting for something beautiful.
Oh-oh... something beautiful.

And the water is rising quick,
And for years I was scared of it.
We can't be sure when it will subside
So I won't leave your side,
No, I can't leave your side.

Hey now, this is my desire:
Consume me like a fire
'Cause I just want something beautiful to touch me -
I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees
Waiting for something beautiful.
Oh-oh... something beautiful,
Oh-oh... something beautiful.

In a daydream
I couldn't live like this
I wouldn't stop until I found something beautiful.
But when I wake up
And all I want, I have
You know it's still all I need - something beautiful.

Hey now, this is my desire:
Consume me like a fire
'Cause I just want something beautiful to touch me -
I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees
Waiting for something beautiful.
Oh-oh... something beautiful,
Oh-oh... something beautiful.

Single Ladies (and Babies)

Clearly Beyonce really did have "one of the best videos of all time."

Our God, Hear the Prayers

I do not enjoy politics. I don’t like the arguing, bickering, or truth-stretching/bending. I am opinionated, though, and a somewhat anxious person by nature. So currently, I am worried about the state and direction of our country (and the world). I find myself getting frustrated and angry over decisions that are being made, as well as failures (especially moral) of our leaders. I am really trying to pray for our country and our leaders when I get anxious or angry, but sometimes it’s hard to overcome those emotions.

This morning, as I was working on a different Bible study, the book of Daniel caught my eye and the Lord reminded me of Daniel’s amazing faith and sense of ownership of the sins of his people.

O Lord, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with all who love him and obey his commands, we have sinned and done wrong. We have been wicked and have rebelled; we have turned away from your commands and laws. We have not listened to your servants the prophets, who spoke in your name to our kings, our princes and our fathers, and to all the people of the land.

Lord, you are righteous, but this day we are covered with shame – the men of Judah and people of Jerusalem and all Israel, both near and far, in all the countries where you have scattered us because of our unfaithfulness, to you. O Lord, we and our kings, our princes and our fathers are covered with shame because we have sinned against you. The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him; we have not obeyed the Lord our God or kept the laws he gave us through his servants the prophets. All Israel has transgressed your law and turned away, refusing to obey you.

Therefore the curses and sworn judgments written in the Law of Moses, the servant of God, have been poured out on us, because we have sinned against you. You have fulfilled the words spoken against us and against our rulers by bringing upon us great disaster. Under the whole heaven nothing has ever been done like what has been done to Jerusalem. Just as it is written in the Law of Moses, all this disaster has come upon us, yet we have not sought the favor of the Lord our God by turning from our sins and giving attention to your truth. The Lord did not hesitate to bring the disaster upon us, for the Lord our God is righteous in everything he does; yet we have not obeyed him.

Now, O Lord our God, who brought your people out of Egypt with a mighty hand and who made for yourself a name that endures to this day, we have sinned, we have done wrong. O Lord, in keeping with all your righteous acts, turn away your anger and your wrath from Jerusalem, your city, your holy hill. Our sins and the iniquities of our fathers have made Jerusalem and your people an object of scorn to all those around us.

Now, our God, hear the prayers and petitions of your servant. For your sake, O Lord, look with favor on your desolate sanctuary. Give ear, O God, and hear; open your eyes and see the desolation of the city that bears your Name. We do not make requests of you because we are righteous, but because of your great mercy. O Lord, listen! O Lord, forgive! O Lord, hear and act! For your sake, O my God, do not delay, because your city and our people bear your Name. - Daniel 9:4-19

Daniel took ownership over the sins of his people. He knew that there were major corporate sins going on among his people and they were in this together, like it or not. Daniel had known this for a while. It was because of the disobedience of his people that they were given over to Babylon, to live in captivity.

It was because of the sins of his people that Daniel was trained and taught a Babylonian culture with Babylonian values. It was because of the sins of his people that Daniel had the opportunity to stand tall for the Lord in the face of adversity. And he did. Daniel lived one of the most amazing stories ever written because he held fast to the Lord and His teaching, no matter the opposition.

Daniel’s courage and dedication to the Lord is taught and viewed in high regard today. He didn’t bow to any other god. He didn’t defile himself with unclean food and drink. And, yet, Daniel placed himself right there alongside all of those who did bow to another god and did defile themselves. Daniel knew he was guilty of sin just like everyone else.

Daniel also knew that the only mercy and forgiveness of sins came from God. Daniel knew that a humble, broken heart before God was the only road to restoration of relationship with God. Daniel knew that it wasn’t about blame, but about admittance of guilt and complete reliance on the Father.

And so Daniel prayed – not for his people, but with them.

So no matter your political alignment or particular view, I challenge you to walk the road Daniel did, and pray with your people, your country. Don’t seek someone to blame for all of the problems. Don’t sit high and mighty on your spiritual hill. Get on your knees, heart poured out before Him, and seek forgiveness and restoration. Pray with your people.

Batting 7th

When I played softball, I liked hitting 7th. Not just that, but I actually didn't like hitting in the top 5 positions. I didn't like hitting 9th either. (In softball, the 9th hitter is usually really fast, so I didn't have a chance of hitting 9th.) But, yeah, if the coach ever announced the lineup and I was one of the first 5 names listed, I started freaking out inside.

You see, if you bat at the top of the lineup (or 9^th, in softball) people generally assume you will get on base. And it wasn’t that I was incapable of getting on base or a bad hitter. At times, I was actually a decent hitter. Now, I was never even close to the best hitter on the team (I was there for my glove), but I could string a few hits together now and then. The problem was somehow my position in the lineup had a direct effect on the pressure I felt before the game.

It all came down to expectations. I felt that if I hit at the top of the lineup, I was expected to get on base. If I got to hit 7^th, I wasn’t expected to get on base. If I did get on base, it was a pleasant surprise. I had surpassed my expectations.

And that’s what I like to do – surpass expectations. But surpassing expectations is easy when nothing is expected of you. And, honestly, I like it that way. Wow, that’s even worse to read than say. I like when nothing is expected because it’s easy to succeed. There it is.

But the thing is, in reality, we all have expectations placed on us. Even if they are low, someone places some type of expectation on us. We place expectations on ourselves. And God has expectations of us.

Expectation is no reason to have anxiety, though. Most expectations of us are placed there for a reason. Now, some expectations are unrealistic. I’m not talking about those. I’m talking about when people place expectations on you based on the God-given talents and potential they see in you.

Expectation is not a bad thing. Allow it to point you and others back to God. He created us. He created the potential that others see in us. Expectation is for His glory. Give it to Him. Don’t waste the opportunity to give Him glory by letting your anxiety rule. Allow God to take your anxiety and the glory.

‘Everyone to whom much was given, much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more.’ Luke 11:48

Come Awake

I love music. I have a soundtrack to life. Maybe one day I'll tell you more about that soundtrack, but for now, just know that I have it. Anyway, I love music. I particularly love lyrics. I mean the music has to be good, but the lyrics are usually what get me. So I thought I would share the lyrics to one of my favorite songs. It came on my iPod when it was on shuffle the other day, and it just reminded me how much I love it. It's on my soundtrack to life from 2008. I also put it on our team soundtrack from 2007. It's that good.

The lyrics are amazing, but the music, especially the rhythm, makes the song. So if you've never heard of it, you should definitely give it a listen. :) Here ya go.

Come Awake - David Crowder Band

Are we left here on our own?
Can you feel when your last breath is gone?
Night is weighing heavy now
Be quiet and wait for a voice that will say

Come awake
From sleep, arise
You were dead
You’ve come alive
Wake up wake up
Open your eyes
Climb from your grave
Into the light
Bring us back to life

You are not the only one
Who feels like the only one
Night soon will be lifted friend
Just be quiet and wait for the voice that will say

Come awake
From sleep, arise
You were dead
You’ve come alive
Wake up wake up
Open your eyes
Climb from your grave
Into the light
Bring us back to life

Rise, rise, rise, rise, rise

Rise, rise, rise, rise….
Shine, shine, Oh shine
We will shine
We will rise
We will shine, shine, shine

Happy 4th of July Week!

In preparation for one of America's favorite holidays:

God is God and I am Not

Maybe you already know that.  Hopefully you know that.  I know that.  Do I believe it?  Sadly, if you look at my life, you would probably say that I don’t believe that. 

Why?

Because I worry.  I worry about the future – about things that will happen; about things I will do; about the way I will respond to circumstances.  I worry about decisions I have already made.  I worry for days, weeks, even months and years…about things that are over and done; things that cannot be changed.  

I cannot change the past.  I cannot control the future.  Yesterday is done and I have zero ability to affect tomorrow today.  And yet I worry.

Lately, I have been consumed with worry about starting my new job.  Consumed may seem like a strong word, but in this situation, it may not be strong enough.  Just ask my roommate. 

I have spent hours studying and reviewing material, trying to prepare myself for anything that might happen.  I study numbers, procedures, injuries, indications, contraindications, past results, etc.  I constantly have information and scenarios running though my head.  Right now, in fact, I have several different things regarding my job running through my head.

I have neglected Bible study and prayer to study.  I hate to even type that, but it’s true.  That used to be a habit of mine in college, but, thankfully, I haven’t done that in several years…until now.

I am anxious all the time, especially at work (which, by the way, has been nothing but orientation up to this point).  I worry about making a mistake.  I worry about screwing up.  I worry about what other people think of me.  I worry about doing harm not good.  I worry that I’m going to fail.

Now, I do believe that an arrogant confidence is harmful.  In dealing with injuries and potential emergency situations, it is good to be aware of the gravity of the situation and prepare for the worst.  Agonizing and worrying constantly, however, is not preparation.  In fact, it may even have a negative impact on preparation.

And, yet, I worry.

So this morning, God graciously gave me yet another reminder of how proud and untrusting my behavior is.  He allowed me to listen to a podcast about control.  Here were the main points:

-       God’s hands are not tied.  They never have been.  They never will be.

-       It is not up to me to control outcomes, but to be a good steward of what God has given me.

-       God is in control and I am not.

So, does this mean I quit studying and preparing altogether?  No.  Does this mean that I have no responsibility in any of this?  No.  It means that God gave me certain abilities and expects me to be a good steward with them.  Being a good steward means doing everything I do as unto the Lord – preparation and execution.

I still must prepare.  I still must equip myself as best I can.  I still must cultivate my abilities.  However, this constant anxiety has to stop.  God deserves more respect than that.

God is God and I am not.

‘We’re Looking to You’

“We’re helpless…We don’t know what to do; we’re looking to you.” 2 Chronicles 20.12 (The Message)

I’ve written about this verse before (I think on my last blog), but I decided I wanted to write on it again.  It’s just such a cool story of humility, reliance on God, and victory in God. 

Here is (without going into major Israelite history about which I’m not well educated) the context: 

Jehoshaphat was king of Judah.  Some people (Moabites, Ammonites, and Meunites) were about to attack Judah.  Jehoshaphat, for good reason, was worried.  He ordered a nationwide fast throughout Judah, seeking God’s help.  Then he prayed to God in front of all the people.  He recognized God for who He is, His power, and His love.  He presented the situation to God.  Then He prayed this:

‘We’re helpless before this vandal horde ready to attack us.  We don’t know what to do; we’re looking to you.’ (v.12)

He humbled himself in front of God and all of the people under his leadership.  He admitted he didn’t know what to do, and looked to God for the answer.  (A person in authority admitting they don’t have the answer right now and turning to God for it – that’s a blog all in itself; maybe another day.) 

What did the people do?

‘Everyone in Judah was there – little children, wives, sons – all present and attentive to God.’ (v.13)

They followed their leader…to the feet of their Lord.

And then it says a man named Jahaziel was ‘moved by the Spirit of God.’ (v.14)  God gave him the answer to their prayers.  He said to them:

‘God’s word:  Don’t be afraid; don’t pay any mind to this vandal horde.  This is God’s war, not yours.  Tomorrow you’ll go after them; see, they’re already on their way up the slopes of Ziz; you’ll meet them at the end of the ravine near the wilderness of Jeruel.  You won’t have to lift a hand in this battle; just stand firm, Judah and Jerusalem, and watch God’s saving work for you take shape.  Don’t be afraid, don’t wavier.  March out boldly tomorrow – God is with you.’ (v. 15-17)

And then Jehoshaphat and all the people laughed at Jahaziel, told him he was crazy, and began making preparations for war, while still freaking out, right?  Nope.

‘Then Jehoshaphat knelt down, bowing with his face to the ground.  All Judah and Jerusalem did the same, worshiping God.  The Levites…stood to their feet to praise God, the God of Israel; they praised at the top of their lungs!’  (v. 18-19)

So early the next morning they left for battle.  Here is part of the charge Jehoshaphat gave them:

‘Believe firmly in God, your God, and you lives will be firm!’ (v. 20)

The Jehoshaphat got a choir (you know, just your everyday wartime choir).  He put them in robes and made them march AHEAD of the troops singing.  What???  Are you serious?  Here’s what they were singing:

‘Give thanks to God, His love never quits.’ (v. 21)

Ok, stop.  Rewind.  So Judah is about to be attacked by several enemy armies.  Their kings says, “Wow, this isn’t good.  I have no idea what to do.”  They fast and pray.  One crazy guy says, “Oh yeah, God told me to tell you not to worry, He’s gonna take care of it.  No worries.”  The king is like, “Sweet, lets have a concert, as we go to battle.” 

Is this for real?  Yup.  Know why?  Because that’s how awesome God is.  That’s the kind of assurance, peace, and confidence in Him we get when we trust and follow Him.  Because He is Almighty and All-powerful.  Because when He says He’s got it under control, He’s got it under control.

Notice something else about the story so far?  There has been no other indication, besides the promise of God, that Judah would even be survive, let alone be victorious…And they are praising and singing to God about His awesome love.  All they have as they march into battle is the promise God spoke through one man.  That’s it.  They didn’t all grow into giants.  God didn’t help them develop some super secret strategy or some super awesome weapon.  He just gave them a promise.  And they believed Him.

Well, in case you are still wondering what happened…When the people of Judah started singing, God sent ambushes against the enemy armies, and they basically destroyed each other.  Judah arrived to see ‘a killing field of dead bodies.’  So Judah didn’t have to lift a hand.  They won because they trusted God and He fought their battle.

This story came to mind today as I was thinking about my family, the economy, my job, and other things that I like to worry about on a daily basis.  God just kept bringing to mind that verse, ‘We don’t know what to do, but our eyes are on You.’ 

Things are really hard for most people right now.  It seems like the economy is at the forefront of most people’s thoughts, but there are other problems, too.  I know I can’t understand anyone else’s problems, so it seems like it would be naïve of me to offer a solution.  That would be true if the solution was a solution I came up with.  Fortunately, it’s not.  It’s God’s solution.

Trust God. 

God gave Judah a promise through one man.  They believed Him.  They believed Him for no other reason, except that He is God.  And they won.

God gave us a Promise, too.  And that Promise humbled himself, came to earth, and died so that we could have the ultimate victory.  He didn’t die just so we could live forever in Heaven.  He died so we could have eternal life.  That life starts now.  That life in Christ starts as soon as we put our faith in Him.  As soon as we accept that He won the war against the enemy and death, we begin to live a victorious life.

‘For, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” ‘ (Romans 10.13, NIV)

This doesn’t mean we don’t need to do anything or work hard or have a job.  It just means we don’t need to worry.  We don’t need to fear.  God has said He is on our side.  We just have to trust Him.  Even when we can’t see what’s ahead or all we can see is a huge storm cloud and a cliff, trust Him.  When you don’t know what to do, turn your eyes to Him.

‘God has assured us, “I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you.” ‘ (Hebrews 13.5, Msg)

 

Main passage:  2 Chronicles 20

Plan B

Well, if this whole athletic training thing doesn't work out, maybe I can get into the family business.

Carlyn and Jamey's Wedding Week - Part 1

Well, my sister now has a last name.  Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Jamey Menser! 

I put some pictures up on Facebook.  Here's the link if you want to check them out:

Wedding Week Part 1

Parts of a Whole

Acts 2:42-47 (ESV)
And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.

When I think of church, this is the passage that comes to my mind first. I know there are many others and I plan to bring those up as well, but I wanted to start here. I could write so much about this passage and the ways I fail to do what it says, and hopefully I will, but what I want to focus on right now is what it doesn’t say.

It doesn’t say, “And they jumped around from church to church until they found the right combination of music they like, preaching that makes them feel good, people that treat them the best and make them feel important, good snacks, free meals, little to no accountability and challenge, energetic and entertaining children’s ministry, and comfortable seats.” Sometimes I think this is what we think church should be.

Did you notice that the word “comfortable” is never mentioned? Neither is popular, easy, feel-good, or status. Maybe it’s the translation. I don’t know Greek, so I can’t say for sure. It seems to me, though, that our comfort and status aren’t high on God’s priority list when it comes to building the church. Is this because He wants us to be miserable and unhappy? Please don’t make me answer that ridiculous question.

I think it’s because God knows that our comfort, our feelings, and our status are all fleeting. They are based on things that don’t last. God isn’t interested in building a temporary establishment. He is interested in building an eternal Kingdom. He is interested in His glory. People bouncing from place to place and ministry to ministry trying to satisfy shallow needs and make themselves look and feel good does not bring God glory or grow His eternal Kingdom. Servants dedicated to their loving Heavenly Father and to loving and serving His Body does.

You know what this passage does say? “…all who believed were together and had all things in common,” and “…the Lord added to their number…” This makes me believe that the Lord had Luke place the emphasis on the group, the Body, rather than the individual, which makes sense because we, the Church, are the Body. We are parts that serve together to make up a whole.

God is a personal God. He made us each uniquely and He loves us with a unique love. He also created us to be built together into something beautiful, strong, functional, and amazing. He created us to be parts of a whole – parts of a Body with Christ as the head. We are created for community. (It would be really hard for even someone who doesn’t believe in God to argue that human nature doesn’t naturally/automatically move toward community.) This is why I think Luke emphasized the group rather than any one individual in this description of the early church. Maybe if we spent more time viewing ourselves as (an important) part of a beautiful Body, we wouldn’t have enough time to worry about our “needs” and whether or not the church is “meeting” them.

Scriptures to look at from my rambling: Acts 2:42-47, Romans 12:1-8, 1 Corinthians 12, Ephesians 4:1-16, Colossians 1:17-18, 1 Peter 2: 4-5

Here We Go...

Ok, so here’s the deal…I’ve been wanting to blog about some ideas/thoughts I’ve had about church/the Body/service/leadership/etc. for a little while now. I’m sure my transition back to America has had something to do with this, but really it goes back farther than that.

God taught me a lot about church – what it is, why it is, what it isn’t, what we make of it, and what it could be – while I was overseas. A lot of my time was spent teaching/guiding young believers in the area of church. Now, I’m really not qualified to do this, and if I had been doing it on my own or using my own ideas, I would have just messed it up. What we did, instead, was look at what Jesus said about church, how the early church started, and what the early church was about. Jesus and the disciples gave us a solid example of what the church should be, and while “culture has changed” and “things are different now,” God is unchanging and perfect. So is His Word. So we can still look back to the first Christian church and learn from them.

What’s going to follow (hopefully in several blogs) is my views/opinions/suggestions/challenges. My initial goal is just to get this out and on paper (or the internet equivalent), and by posting it for people to read, I have a stronger push to actually do it. I’d also like to hear other opinions/suggestions/criticism of my thoughts. A lot of what I write is mainly a challenge to myself to do what I think the Bible says we should do, because even if I think huge changes need to occur, if I’m not willing to change, why should I expect anyone else to.

This is not meant to be a criticism of church or specific people in the church. This is not meant to be me airing my frustrations. If it begins to sound like that, please call me on it.

Finally, I never claim to understand the Word completely or understand how to apply is perfectly. Some things I say may be wrong. Don’t read it as me saying, “This is what I think and I’m right.” All I want to do is look at Scripture and talk about what I think its application looks like today. I’ll do my best to type the Scripture I reference or at least give you the reference so you can read on your own and let me know what you think. The entries probably won’t be in much of an order – because this is a blog not a book, but they will hopefully have a flow within each entry.

I’d love to get lots of opinions on this so feel free to pass it along to others. You can comment on my blog or link to yours and write up your own deal. This could be kinda cool if we get discussion going. If nothing else, at least I’ll get my thoughts out and maybe my head will feel less crowded.

Keep Pressing On

Do you ever feel like everyone started the race ahead of you and now all you can do is try to catch up and make your defeat look not so bad? That's kind of how I've been feeling lately - well part of it, at least. I feel like I'm playing catch up - only I don't know who or what I'm trying to catch up with. It's a weird feeling.

And I think the feeling of being behind is causing me to move my focus from where it should be. It's like I'm trying to focus on the runners in front of me instead of on the finish line...which wouldn't be so bad if we were all running the same race, but that's not always the case. Sometimes the people I start following are running to a different finish line, so when I start following them, I get thrown completely off course. And sometimes, even if our finish line is the same, we are supposed to be on two different tracks and I get all confused about which track I'm on when I start focussing on them instead of the finish line to my track.

It's like I just came to the bottom of a downhill stretch of the race and now I'm headed back uphill...Except now I'm not just going uphill - now I'm in a dense forrest and it's cloudy and windy, so I can barely see the ground for my next step. So what do I do? I panic. I stop keeping my finish in mind and stop concentrating on one step after another, and I turn my eyes - even for just a second - to the runners around me. I want to see who's ahead of me and where everyone else is going instead of staying on my path. And then, not only do I get off track, but I also start tripping and falling because I'm not even aware of where my next step should go.

If I just take a breath and deliberately turn my focus back to where it should be, I know what my path is and where it leads, and I know what I need to do...

"...run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith." - Hebrews 12.1-2

"...press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3.14

He Doesn't Waiver, Even When We Do

Desert Song by Hillsong

This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow


"Believe God is always the God you know Him to be when you are nearest to Him."
-Oswald Chambers

Happy Monday!

I'm Not the Realtor of the Family, but...

I think I could do a better job of advertising than this...

Clearly they only want hawk-eyed people renting their house.

Birthday Blog

So tomorrow marks 1/4 century in the life of Cristin.  Kinda crazy.  25 sounds very adult.  Not having a job doesn't - but we won't go into that now.  I was thinking about past birthday celebrations, because I was going to try to list as many as I could, but it turns out I can't remember a lot of them (Carlyn, no comments about my 18th.  I remember).  

One of my favorites was in elementary school, maybe 2nd grade, with my grandmother, Erma.  You see, every year, Erma would plan an outing for each of the grandchildren on their birthday (Williamsburg, Jamestown, The Mariner's Museum, etc).  It was cool as a kid, but I appreciate it much more now.  This one particular birthday, she took me to the Ft. Monroe Officer's Club for lunch.  I don't remember much about lunch, but Erma said that they had nothing on the menu I would eat, so the chef made me a hamburger and fries and they brought ketchup out in a silver goblet.  All I remember is this delicious chocolate raspberry cake they brought out for me.  Amazing.  I know I have a picture this event somewhere, but I can't find it. 

I've had 2 surprise parties that I can remember.  One was when I was like 8 or 9, I guess.  My mom and dad planned a surprise party for me after my swim lessons.  They didn't know who to invite, I guess, so they just invited my whole class and a few more people.  As a result the only thing I remember about that birthday was that I came straight from the pool to my house for the party and there were a lot of kids I didn't like there.

The second surprise party was when I was 22.  Byron and Erica took me out to dinner and then when I got back to the apartment, there was a party.  DiAnna followed me around with the video camera, which I didn't like.  Side note:  Byron isn't a very good sneaky surpriser. :)

Coincidentally that year, my actual birthday fell on the SuperBowl, so about 30 people sang Happy Birthday to me at the party.  If you know me, you know how much I enjoyed all that attention. :)

I spent 2 birthdays overseas - one in China (23) and one in Thailand (24).  They were both really fun and memorable.  On my 23rd, I had a 2 cakes, plus an awesome french toast breakfast.  We listened to the SuperBowl that morning (12 hrs ahead) and went to a really good restaurant for dinner.  Then we had coffee at this revolving restaurant where we could see the whole city.  Pretty sweet.

In Thailand, my awesome sistah, Mariah, provided a crown, sash, and scepter for me to wear to all of our meetings.  Then we got to go to Starbucks that night to celebrate.  They lit a stirrer in a muffin for my cake and candle.  Nice.

We'll see what this year brings.  :)

25 Things

Ok, so Carlyn did this, so I figured I would, too...

This '25 Things' Note is going around Facebook, so I decided to put it on here too.

I used (my sister) Carlyn’s ’25 Things’ as a template, so some of mine are responses to hers. 

1. I love naps.

2.I am left-handed when it comes to writing, eating, and dexterity, but right-handed throwing, hitting, shooting basketball, kicking, and other things more strength oriented.

3. I am a nerd when it comes to sports medicine…Actually, I’m just a nerd, in general, but I’m ok with that.

4 I’m in training to be a music elitist.

5. I really like getting dressed up, but won’t do it unless I have a reason or someone else is doing it with me.

6. I spent almost 2 years in China.  Yes, I can speak Chinese and use chopsticks.

7. I love real flowers.  I don’t care if they die in a week. 

8. Habakkuk is a good book.  You should read it.

9. I have been to England, Ireland, France, Russia, Italy, Finland, Estonia, Sweden, Denmark, Brazil, Thailand and China and still have not been to Disney World (or Disneyland).

10. After about a month in China, I realized I wasn’t as tough as I thought I was.  I like showers and heat…but I would do it again if God called me to.

11. For 2 years many words were taken out of my vocabulary, especially over the phone.  I still occasionally have panic attacks when I hear them or say them.

12. I love baseball.  I always have and always will.  Wilkey (my grandfather) taught me to love it.

13. I love college football, and bleed garnet.  The phrase ‘wait til next season’ comes out without even thinking about it.

14. I worked as a student athletic trainer for USC football, track and field, and swimming and diving.

15. I would like to work as an athletic trainer anywhere, now.  I need a job.

17. I honestly believe God laughs at my life.  And I’m ok with that because He’s God.  He made me and He invented laughter.

18. If I had a house and the money, I would have a batting cage in my basement or backyard.

19. God speaks to me most when I’m writing.

20. I can speak Carlyn’s movie quote language.  Kyle is a close second to Carlyn in being able to speak in quotes, but wins by a landslide if you change it to sports metaphors or clichés. 

21. I am Southern.  Please do not argue with me.

22. From the time I was about 7 until I was 13 or so, I wanted to play baseball for Florida State on my way to playing in the majors.  And I actually thought I could.

23. I love ultimate Frisbee and flag football.

24. Music and sports are always better live.  Always.

25. Colossians 3.17.

Relationships

Ok, so I said I would start putting old posts over here so here's my first one.  It's from May 14, 2008.  And now that people can comment, hopefully it will be more interesting.

So what have I learned in the past year?  Lots.  But I think the biggest thing I’ve learned about, besides myself, is relationships.  After some encouragement from a friend, I decided to share some of what I’ve been learning.  So here’s a little excerpt from my journal.  Make no mistake, I’m not “there” yet, but hopefully I’m at least taking steps in the right direction.  Alright, here we go...

 

4/8/08  Talking…the other night was really good.  It really helped me to verbalize some things and say some stuff outloud.  It was interesting to hear myself speak truth about my (and all) relationships and also hear how my habits/thoughts/behaviors combat those truths.  Relationships are huge.  They are a gift from You, not just so we have something to do while we hang out here, but so we can get a taste of real, true relationship – relationship with You.  Yes, our earthly relationships are all damaged and broken, but until we come home to be with You, it’s what we’ve got.  Besides, the reason they’re broken is because we’re broken.  We need to remember that.  They are still a gift from You, though.  So when we take them for granted or abuse them, we are abusing and damaging Your gift.  When we shut ourselves off and refuse to be in relationship, we are telling You that we don’t want to know relationship, any relationship – including relationship with You.  

 

The thing is, though, relationships are hard.  They require us to humble ourselves, give up control, and give of ourselves.  We must be humble enough to say we need people, that we can’t do it on our own.  We need people – people placed in our lives by You – to help us.  

 

We have to give up control of our lives and what/who affects our lives.  The funny thing is, we never really have control of this – we just convince ourselves that we do.  We were made to be moved – moved by love, by pain, by beauty, by sorrow.  We are creatures of emotion.  You made us this way.  This emotion is what allows us to really know You, know Your character, hear You.  But this same ability, this capacity for emotion is what leaves us feeling sad or hurt at times.  Instead of embracing this emotion, allowing it to draw us closer to You, and glorifying You in it, we try to turn it off.  And though we are (and will always be) unsuccessful, we still try to convince ourselves we can control it.  So we run away, we build walls, we fight, we put up pretty facades over empty shells.  And in the end, we still feel emotions, we still hurt, and we probably miss the lessons and the joys that You want to give us.  See, that’s the thing – it’s the sad that allows us to know happy, the pain that allows us to know comfort, the turmoil that allows us to know peace, the valley that shows the height of the mountaintop.  And You are in all of these places – all the time.  We just have to look for You.  

 

We think we’re in control and protecting ourselves when we build walls or run away, but all we’re doing is shutting You out or running from You.  You tell us that Your yoke is easy and Your burden is light, but we refuse to exchange ours for Yours.  We refuse to cast our anxieties on You.  We kick and scream and try to push You away and keep You from walking with us.  Why?  Because we don’t believe You know what’s best.  We think we know ourselves better than you know us and we care more about ourselves than You do.  But that’s just not true.  You created us.  You knew us and placed us in our mother’s womb.  You know more about us than we ever will.  And You care more about us than we can even comprehend.  Your love knows no bounds and we can’t even come close to knowing what that means.  You died for us.  You sought after us.  You found us.  You rescued us.  So we need to throw off these lies we’ve been told and willingly give You the control.  

 

Finally, we must give of ourselves.  If we really want to have relationship, we have to open up.  We have to let people in.  We have to talk to them and trust them with knowledge about ourselves.  We have to choose to tell them things – about our past, our emotions, our feelings, our lives.  And the scary part is, we have no control over what they do with that information.  We don’t know what they’re going to do with it once we give it to them.  They could tell others; they could reject us, make fun of us, condemn us.  They could hurt us.  And chances are, all of these things (and more) have happened to us in the past, so now we’re weary.  We’re cautious.  We’re “smart.”  Only, we’re also miserable.  In being “smart” we ruin any chance of community, any chance of relationship.  For it is in giving that we receive.  We must give of ourselves if we want to know true relationship.  It is a 2-way street; a give and take.  Sure, you can just take and not give.  You can just listen to what other people say and learn about them, but that’s not true relationship.  So we have a choice to make.  We can choose to have relationships or not.  We can accept Your gift or not.  We can grow deeper in our knowledge of You and your love or not.  It’s our choice.  You gave us that gift, too.  We must decide.

 

4//9/08  I’m glad that You don’t view relationships like I do.  I’m glad You don’t give up on any of us.  I’m so thankful You continued to pursue me even when I turned my back on You.  You never gave up.  You never give up.

Big Day

So I officially became a SC resident today.  Got the license to prove it.  Thanks to Katie and her suggestion to go to the Irmo DMV, it only took about 10 minutes to do it.  Completely amazing.

Other things I crossed off my list today:

• Ordered bridesmaid dress for Carlyn's wedding
• Dropped off another application/resume
• Officially accepted one job
• Made an appointment to discuss other job possiblities
• Went grocery shopping
• Baked cookies
• Made dinner
• Started working on a rehab program for a friend

After all of that productiveness, I ended the night with old BCM friends and way too many cookies.  Good times.

May I Have Your Attention?

This goes out to everyone who has ever listened to anyone talk.  I'm specifically speaking of listening to public speakers, but it pretty much applies no matter who you're listening to and where you're listening to them.  ACT LIKE YOU'RE ALIVE!

It really helps if the speaker knows you are listening.  You don't even really have to care or act like you care.  I mean, it's nice to feel like the people you're talking to care since you cared enough to stand up in front of them, have your face turn red, fight your body's urge to pass out, risk saying something stupid, and feel critiqued by everyone in the audience for the duration of the talk and hours afterwards (hypothetically, of course).  But caring isn't necessary.  It's just helpful to the speaker if he/she knows that the words he/she says connect with your brain at some point.  When there is no response from the audience at all, you begin to wonder if you're, I don't know, accidentally speaking Chinese or something.  Then you get flustered, lose your place and either repeat yourself, or (if you're like me) just skip to the end and ask for questions.  Now, I'm not saying I really want to dialogue with people throughout my speech or have crazy people shouting things at me when I talk - I'd probably be just as flustered, if not more, if that happened.  Just a smile, nod, blink every few minutes would be nice.

So the next time you're listening to someone talk and they look your way.  Give 'em a smile or a nod or even a long distance fist bump.  Don't wink (unless it's your significant other), though.  That's just creepy.

A New Blog for a New Year

So I decided the blog needed a new location for a new year...actually I'm just phasing out my .mac stuff because I'm cheap and I don't want to pay for it.  So I'm moving the blog to this location.  I'll go back and post old blog entries here because I'm a pack rat in real life, so why not be a pack rat in the blog world?  Anyway, I'll try to update this fairly often, but again, no promises.  Happy New Year!