The last post ended with the idea that to create and cultivate community, we must be open and inviting. In order to be open and inviting, though, God had to teach me about trust. I was unwilling to trust people because I had been hurt in the past and didn’t want to risk getting hurt again. I was scared to give other people the power and control to influence and impact my life because they might cause me pain. Here’s what He taught me: I am not in control and people will hurt me.
I spent so much time and energy trying to protect myself from getting hurt by people, and you know what? I still got hurt. And do you know why that is? We are sinners. Sin is destructive and painful. Sin grieves the heart of God and sin hurts people. My sin hurts other people and their sin hurts me. We were created to be in relationship with God and with people. Sin breaks those relationships and causes pain.
And I have no control over what other people say and do. They may do or say something to me to hurt me. They may say something about me that hurts me. They may reject me. I cannot control that. I cannot trust that every person I meet will never cause me pain.
What I can trust is God.
This has been a long, ongoing process for me. A book I read several years ago (I think it was “Louder than Words” by Andy Stanley, but I’m not sure), helped me work through developing community and relationships. The book talks about being able to trust God with other people – believers and nonbelievers. We can trust that our just and faithful God will deal rightly with all injustices that have been committed against us. We can also trust that the blood of His Son on the cross covers any wrong committed by believers against us.
God created us for community. It is part of His perfect plan. He intended for us to be in community with Him and with others. He knew that we would corrupt it with sin, and He also knew that He would redeem it through the blood of His Son. Reconciliation is possible because of Christ’s death.
Paul tells us:
From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. – 2 Corinthians 5.16-21
Community is difficult. It’s risky. Community requires much of us. It requires us to be vulnerable, open, and honest with people, and those people may hurt us. Community requires us to give of ourselves and put others before ourselves. Community requires us to trust Jesus, more than we trust ourselves, with our relationships.
Community was something that Jesus sought for us. He prayed to His Father on our behalf that we would have community not only with Him, but also with each other.
My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. – John 17.20-23
If Jesus viewed community and relationships as important, then we should, too.
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